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Helping yourself, Life Tips

The scary wake-up call I had that made me realise I was practising self-care all wrong!!!!

Nearly two years ago now I wrote a blog post about the self-care craze and how important it is to ensure we take time for ourselves to ‘tap out’ of being online all the time and to take time for ourselves to reflect, unwind and switch off. I still believe in all the tips in that article and they have certainly served their purpose for me (check the blog post out here), however, I’ve also realised this……

“I’VE BEEN DOING SELF-CARE ALL WRONG AT ITS VERY CORE!!!!”

At its very basic level, self-care is about, just that – caring for ourselves.  Yet, after having a pretty scary wake-up call recently I have realised that NO amount of smoothies, meditation or walks along the beach, will save me from not taking care of myself at the very base level.  

What do I mean by this? I mean, sticking to health appointments, following up on concerns you might have and not falling into the trap of saying “I am too busy”, because what we are really saying is “my health isn’t a priority”. And it is easy to take it for granted, particularly if you have had a really good run health wise. It’s easy to assume you’ll always be like that and therefore not stay on top of the things that you should – e.g Drs appointments, annual check-ups, skin checks, etc.

You might be reading this going “yeah, no worries, I take my health seriously!”. Yep, I was saying that too. And it was all good and well, until I got hit with the truth bomb that I did saying I’ve got skin cancer in the form of melanoma. Boom. Just like that. I also knew pretty quickly that it had gotten to the stage that it did because I ignored it. Ignorantly had put other priorities first.  Ignorantly thought I had more important things to do.

Now, that really isn’t self-care at all, is it? But I also get that it is so easy to fall into this trap like I did and think “nothing like this will happen to me”. Or, “I’m fine, I don’t have time for this”. Yet, somehow, we will still manage to make time for things not important and so not related to self-care, or to our health. None of the Instagram scrolling, the TV watching, or Netflixing really matters in the long run. We will never wish we did more of that.

And to be really honest, my first thought when I was told that the mole I had on my leg was cancerous, was GUILT. This was MY fault.  I let it get this far. I knew deep down I needed to make an appointment ages ago, but I kept letting “busy” get in the way of important. I kept letting work take priority. Or, I’d keep making excuses to myself, like having meetings I couldn’t move, or projects I needed to do as an excuse. I don’t write this to be a martyr, and I definitely do not write it to rag on my workplace as it would have to be the most genuinely supportive place I have ever worked. I write it because I know I am not alone. I know there are others who would be using their “busyness” as an excuse.  Their full diaries as a reason not to go to an appointment. I now have only one response for this…. STOP IT. We need to take accountability for ourselves and our health.

Why? Because your health needs to be number one, always. It must come first. It is the ultimate form of self-care and if you can make time to blend your morning smoothie, walk along the beach, do a yoga class, or scroll your Instagram feed, then you can 100% make time for your self-care at its very base level.

This blog has always prided itself on being honest, vulnerable and cutting through the crap. Part of that means me being completely honest with you all when sh*t gets a bit real in my own life. If even one person goes and makes a skin check appointment out of this blog, I’ll have achieved my goal.

If you’ve found yourself stuck in your own way – NOW is the time to get out of it. I can help you. Just ask me how. That is the first step.

Much Love,

Claire Seeber

Keen advocate for helping you get the f*ck out of your own way! 
youcan@eatingyourcaketoo.com
www.eatingyourcaketoo.com.au
www.claireseeber.com.au

Author

Claire Seeber is a self-proclaimed travel addict, mini-sausage dog mumma, avid blogger, a lover of a good glass of pinot noir and believes a solid belly laugh should be part of your every day.

She is also a professional coach, speaker and People and Culture consultant. Claire started her business in 2017 whilst working full time as General Manager of HR for a large retail business. What she loves the most about the work she does is being able to work with passionate, motivated and courageous people who genuinely want to reach their full potential and are ready to put the hard yards in to get there.

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How to rise above when people want to drag you down…

There will be a time for almost all of us in our lives where someone tries to drag us down, dull our shine or just generally inflict hurt. Sometimes it will be intentional and sometimes completely not. But, when that happens, what I have learnt is that we have a choice.  We can let the experience dent, bruise or burst our confidence, or we can rise above, look for the lesson, remember who we really are, and move forward with grace and dignity.

This topic has really got me thinking about how to help others when they have this experience of people trying to drag them down, as unfortunately, it seems to be a relatively common theme. How can I help others? How do we make sure we rise above tough and testing situations when all we might want to do is write our real feelings across the sky for all to see?

We all know that trolls are on the rise. They have been for years and the ease and availability of social media only makes that easier and not something that is likely to go away any time soon – if ever!  I feel like in the last few weeks alone I have heard numerous examples either in the media, or from people I know where they have been impacted by this.

But here is the hard truth – you have no option but to rise above. There are trolls everywhere and towards almost everyone. Whether that be people hating on the mother who left her child in the car whilst grabbing some cash from the ATM. Whether it be the dream chaser sailing their yacht around the world, learning from their mistakes as they go and sharing those with others. Perhaps it’s even the reality TV contestant who has put themselves out there, even said some things they shouldn’t, but is still actually a human f*cking being with a good and beautiful soul! These trolls have confidence because they have a keyboard, but it doesn’t mean we let them win.

People will test you always. It is what humans do. But how we choose to rise above the tough times and move forward is both a measure of who WE are as a human being and how WE can teach others to do the same.

So, here’s what I have learnt about rising above the haters that I hope comes in handy for you:

You’re angry or emotional at what’s been said or done – GREAT. Now channel it for good. Use the anger and do something with it that will actually help someone, not an emotionally charged, ill written comment on someone’s wall, twitter or Instagram.

Remember the people who know you. Actually know you and believe in you. These are 99.9% of the people – don’t let the 0.1 percent overtake the 99.9%. Focus on them, they’ve got your back.

Stay strong in what you stand for – usually the objective of haters is to tear you away from what you believe or what you stand for, or at the very least remove some level of confidence that you had in your own abilities. Don’t let that happen. Instead, use it as armour to help you rebuild stronger in your message than ever.

Consider this – although this might sting now, is it something you’ll consider in 6 months’ time? If not, don’t let it take up energy that could be focussed on doing something positive.

Keep your eyes on your own pathway and keep working towards it – There are 7.7 billion people on this planet – don’t let the couple of haters make you think everyone feels like that.

Forgive, forget and move on – life is too f*cking short to dwell on things you cannot change. I love this quote I read recently on Tiny Buddha “Forgive these people for raining on your parade and forgive yourself for forgetting your umbrella.” And, if all else fails, think of Disney – if you have nothing nice to say, don’t say it at all.

If you need some more help in dealing with negative people, don’t miss this blog post I wrote last year, it also has some handy hints you might enjoy – CLICK Here for how to deal with Negative people.

Or, if you need  a reminder of why it can be good when you aren’t’ liked, check this little baby out – CLICK HERE

As always, remember, I have your back and I am grateful that you have mine.

Much Love,

Claire Seeber

Keen advocate for helping you get the f*ck out of your own way! 
youcan@eatingyourcaketoo.com
www.eatingyourcaketoo.com.au
www.claireseeber.com.au

Author

Claire Seeber is a self-proclaimed travel addict, mini-sausage dog mumma, avid blogger, a lover of a good glass of pinot noir and believes a solid belly laugh should be part of your every day.

She is also a professional coach, speaker and People and Culture consultant. Claire started her business in 2017 whilst working full time as General Manager of HR for a large retail business. What she loves the most about the work she does is being able to work with passionate, motivated and courageous people who genuinely want to reach their full potential and are ready to put the hard yards in to get there.

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