SUBSCRIBE
Subscribe to my Newsletter Subscribe to my Newsletter
Free Bookings
Helping yourself, Life Tips

The scary wake-up call I had that made me realise I was practising self-care all wrong!!!!

Nearly two years ago now I wrote a blog post about the self-care craze and how important it is to ensure we take time for ourselves to ‘tap out’ of being online all the time and to take time for ourselves to reflect, unwind and switch off. I still believe in all the tips in that article and they have certainly served their purpose for me (check the blog post out here), however, I’ve also realised this……

“I’VE BEEN DOING SELF-CARE ALL WRONG AT ITS VERY CORE!!!!”

At its very basic level, self-care is about, just that – caring for ourselves.  Yet, after having a pretty scary wake-up call recently I have realised that NO amount of smoothies, meditation or walks along the beach, will save me from not taking care of myself at the very base level.  

What do I mean by this? I mean, sticking to health appointments, following up on concerns you might have and not falling into the trap of saying “I am too busy”, because what we are really saying is “my health isn’t a priority”. And it is easy to take it for granted, particularly if you have had a really good run health wise. It’s easy to assume you’ll always be like that and therefore not stay on top of the things that you should – e.g Drs appointments, annual check-ups, skin checks, etc.

You might be reading this going “yeah, no worries, I take my health seriously!”. Yep, I was saying that too. And it was all good and well, until I got hit with the truth bomb that I did saying I’ve got skin cancer in the form of melanoma. Boom. Just like that. I also knew pretty quickly that it had gotten to the stage that it did because I ignored it. Ignorantly had put other priorities first.  Ignorantly thought I had more important things to do.

Now, that really isn’t self-care at all, is it? But I also get that it is so easy to fall into this trap like I did and think “nothing like this will happen to me”. Or, “I’m fine, I don’t have time for this”. Yet, somehow, we will still manage to make time for things not important and so not related to self-care, or to our health. None of the Instagram scrolling, the TV watching, or Netflixing really matters in the long run. We will never wish we did more of that.

And to be really honest, my first thought when I was told that the mole I had on my leg was cancerous, was GUILT. This was MY fault.  I let it get this far. I knew deep down I needed to make an appointment ages ago, but I kept letting “busy” get in the way of important. I kept letting work take priority. Or, I’d keep making excuses to myself, like having meetings I couldn’t move, or projects I needed to do as an excuse. I don’t write this to be a martyr, and I definitely do not write it to rag on my workplace as it would have to be the most genuinely supportive place I have ever worked. I write it because I know I am not alone. I know there are others who would be using their “busyness” as an excuse.  Their full diaries as a reason not to go to an appointment. I now have only one response for this…. STOP IT. We need to take accountability for ourselves and our health.

Why? Because your health needs to be number one, always. It must come first. It is the ultimate form of self-care and if you can make time to blend your morning smoothie, walk along the beach, do a yoga class, or scroll your Instagram feed, then you can 100% make time for your self-care at its very base level.

This blog has always prided itself on being honest, vulnerable and cutting through the crap. Part of that means me being completely honest with you all when sh*t gets a bit real in my own life. If even one person goes and makes a skin check appointment out of this blog, I’ll have achieved my goal.

If you’ve found yourself stuck in your own way – NOW is the time to get out of it. I can help you. Just ask me how. That is the first step.

Much Love,

Claire Seeber

Keen advocate for helping you get the f*ck out of your own way! 
youcan@eatingyourcaketoo.com
www.eatingyourcaketoo.com.au
www.claireseeber.com.au

Author

Claire Seeber is a self-proclaimed travel addict, mini-sausage dog mumma, avid blogger, a lover of a good glass of pinot noir and believes a solid belly laugh should be part of your every day.

She is also a professional coach, speaker and People and Culture consultant. Claire started her business in 2017 whilst working full time as General Manager of HR for a large retail business. What she loves the most about the work she does is being able to work with passionate, motivated and courageous people who genuinely want to reach their full potential and are ready to put the hard yards in to get there.

You might also like:

How to manage Interview Guilt?

Welcome to our ‘Real Women’ Interview Series with Charlene Perera!

How to rise above when people want to drag you down…

There will be a time for almost all of us in our lives where someone tries to drag us down, dull our shine or just generally inflict hurt. Sometimes it will be intentional and sometimes completely not. But, when that happens, what I have learnt is that we have a choice.  We can let the experience dent, bruise or burst our confidence, or we can rise above, look for the lesson, remember who we really are, and move forward with grace and dignity.

This topic has really got me thinking about how to help others when they have this experience of people trying to drag them down, as unfortunately, it seems to be a relatively common theme. How can I help others? How do we make sure we rise above tough and testing situations when all we might want to do is write our real feelings across the sky for all to see?

We all know that trolls are on the rise. They have been for years and the ease and availability of social media only makes that easier and not something that is likely to go away any time soon – if ever!  I feel like in the last few weeks alone I have heard numerous examples either in the media, or from people I know where they have been impacted by this.

But here is the hard truth – you have no option but to rise above. There are trolls everywhere and towards almost everyone. Whether that be people hating on the mother who left her child in the car whilst grabbing some cash from the ATM. Whether it be the dream chaser sailing their yacht around the world, learning from their mistakes as they go and sharing those with others. Perhaps it’s even the reality TV contestant who has put themselves out there, even said some things they shouldn’t, but is still actually a human f*cking being with a good and beautiful soul! These trolls have confidence because they have a keyboard, but it doesn’t mean we let them win.

People will test you always. It is what humans do. But how we choose to rise above the tough times and move forward is both a measure of who WE are as a human being and how WE can teach others to do the same.

So, here’s what I have learnt about rising above the haters that I hope comes in handy for you:

You’re angry or emotional at what’s been said or done – GREAT. Now channel it for good. Use the anger and do something with it that will actually help someone, not an emotionally charged, ill written comment on someone’s wall, twitter or Instagram.

Remember the people who know you. Actually know you and believe in you. These are 99.9% of the people – don’t let the 0.1 percent overtake the 99.9%. Focus on them, they’ve got your back.

Stay strong in what you stand for – usually the objective of haters is to tear you away from what you believe or what you stand for, or at the very least remove some level of confidence that you had in your own abilities. Don’t let that happen. Instead, use it as armour to help you rebuild stronger in your message than ever.

Consider this – although this might sting now, is it something you’ll consider in 6 months’ time? If not, don’t let it take up energy that could be focussed on doing something positive.

Keep your eyes on your own pathway and keep working towards it – There are 7.7 billion people on this planet – don’t let the couple of haters make you think everyone feels like that.

Forgive, forget and move on – life is too f*cking short to dwell on things you cannot change. I love this quote I read recently on Tiny Buddha “Forgive these people for raining on your parade and forgive yourself for forgetting your umbrella.” And, if all else fails, think of Disney – if you have nothing nice to say, don’t say it at all.

If you need some more help in dealing with negative people, don’t miss this blog post I wrote last year, it also has some handy hints you might enjoy – CLICK Here for how to deal with Negative people.

Or, if you need  a reminder of why it can be good when you aren’t’ liked, check this little baby out – CLICK HERE

As always, remember, I have your back and I am grateful that you have mine.

Much Love,

Claire Seeber

Keen advocate for helping you get the f*ck out of your own way! 
youcan@eatingyourcaketoo.com
www.eatingyourcaketoo.com.au
www.claireseeber.com.au

Author

Claire Seeber is a self-proclaimed travel addict, mini-sausage dog mumma, avid blogger, a lover of a good glass of pinot noir and believes a solid belly laugh should be part of your every day.

She is also a professional coach, speaker and People and Culture consultant. Claire started her business in 2017 whilst working full time as General Manager of HR for a large retail business. What she loves the most about the work she does is being able to work with passionate, motivated and courageous people who genuinely want to reach their full potential and are ready to put the hard yards in to get there.

You might also like:

How to manage Interview Guilt?

Welcome to our ‘Real Women’ Interview Series with Charlene Perera!

How to set boundaries that you actually stick to!

Part of the process of successful of goal setting is ultimately creating a plan for your success. It is all good and well to have the vision and goals, but without the plan in place to make them happen they are really just wish lists on a page or in your head. Also, your goals and vision should ultimately be underpinned by your values – these are what you consider to be the most important things in your life.

Therefore, as an example, if you are saying the most important things in your life are your family, friends and health, then your vision for what your life looks like should also be aligned to these, as should the plan you then put in place to achieve them.  Often though, this is where we fall down. We create these amazing vision boards, goals list etc, but we don’t commit to the changes we need to make in order to then achieve them. 

“Show me your schedule and I will show you your values” is a phrase I have used before and I will use again.

What YOU allow to take up YOUR time the most is what you are saying that you really, truly value the most. Actions speak louder than words.

If you take the time to review your current schedule, where do you think the most time is spent?  And, when I say time, I don’t just mean physical time – time also includes the hours you may spend thinking about something, the nights you lose sleep overthinking things – this is all time.

A few years ago, I decided to do this exercise for myself. Something had to change in my life and an assessment of where I currently was seemed like a logical place to start.  I printed off my schedule and bucketed it up into the key themes – I had to be very honest with myself too. I learned that about 60% of my time, or, on average, 100 hours of the 168 hours I had in any given week, were being spent on work – and as I said above that included actual work, thinking about work, and then overthinking about work! Next, it was about 25 -30% rest/sleep and maybe 10% time for relationships and play.  Zero time allotted to exercise, or development and growth.

I did this to myself though.  I allowed this to happen by not having clear boundaries to prioritise the things most important to me (and massively by allowing myself to overthink – if you think that might be you, check this blog post out on Overthinking!). CLICK HERE

I dare you to do this little exercise over the next few weeks as part of kicking off your new year in the right way. Keep a log each day of where your hours go. Split them into the following buckets that make up your balance wheel

  • Work and Career
  • Rest and Sleep
  • Relationships (Family and friends)  
  • Exercise and Nutrition
  • Development and Growth (e.g reading, learning, meditation, intellectual stimulation etc)
  • Play

Keep a balance journal and see where you land at the end of 30 days. Assess where you find your time gets spent. This will tell you your values as they currently stand.  Once you have had a chance to reflect on your journal, ask yourself this.  Is it where you want it to be? Are there areas of opportunity? Are you ‘walking your own talk’ in terms of your values and boundaries?

This exercise is also not to say that there won’t be times where your work load might be heavy and you might be “tilting” towards work more than you usually would. That is ok – it is when this lifestyle or schedule becomes the norm for us and we become completely out of sync with our own priorities that we need to step back, breathe and make some changes.

If you need help setting boundaries and sticking to them. I can help you. If you aren’t sure of your place, your purpose or even your own goals. I can help you.

But….the first step starts with you to decide that you are done being in your own way and ready to help yourself.

If there is something in you that just wants a little more. If there is something in you that knows there must be more to what you are experiencing now, but you don’t know what it is. If you aren’t sad, but you definitely aren’t happy – talk to me.  I can help you wake up in the morning excited to take on the day. I can help you build the confidence you need to ask for what you want. I can help you gain clarity on what your career path could, should and can be. Email me at youcan@eatingyourcaketoo.com for a confidential and free 20-minute chat.

Much Love,
Claire Seeber
Keen advocate for helping you get the f*ck out of your own way! 
youcan@eatingyourcaketoo.com
www.eatingyourcaketoo.com.au
www.claireseeber.com.au

POSTED IN LIFE TIPSPURPOSE

Author

Claire Seeber is a self-proclaimed travel addict, mini-sausage dog mumma, avid blogger, a lover of a good glass of pinot noir and believes a solid belly laugh should be part of your every day.

She is also a professional coach, speaker and People and Culture consultant. Claire started her business in 2017 whilst working full time as General Manager of HR for a large retail business. What she loves the most about the work she does is being able to work with passionate, motivated and courageous people who genuinely want to reach their full potential and are ready to put the hard yards in to get there.

You might also like:

How to manage Interview Guilt?

Welcome to our ‘Real Women’ Interview Series with Charlene Perera!

Need some inspiration for the New Year? Help yourself with these motivational gems!

Are you feeling a bit of the post-holiday blues at the moment? Wishing you were still by your pool with a nice cold cocktail, but instead you are back at your desk dealing with the seemingly endless emails that enter your inbox daily? I have no doubt you are not alone here my friend! So, if you are lacking motivation at the moment, or just feeling like you need a little pep talk to get you back on track for the new year, below are some of my favourite tips, tricks and resources that I use to do just that.

Each year I like look to back at some of the books, videos, podcasts, quotes and learnings that I indulged in and which ones really resonated with me the most or pushed me to take action. I am sharing these with you in the hope that you might find they do the same too. FYI – Nothing listed below is a paid endorsement – these are all just videos, books, articles, quotes, etc I have found helpful and wanted to share the love.

1.I finished this book in a couple of hours because I couldn’t put it down! Get yourself a copy of “Purpose”, by Lisa Messenger immediately.  Have you ever considered why you get up and go to work every day? (Besides your bills, of course!). Have you ever stopped to consider why you open your eyes in the morning and instead of sitting on the couch for the next 8 hours you decide to get up and go to your job – THAT particular job? How do you feel at the end of those 8 hours?  Are you exhausted and counting down the minutes until it is over, or do you feel fulfilled, happy, challenged?  This book will help you really think about these things and help you on your path to finding your unique purpose.

2. This TED talk is EVERYTHING!!!! If you have ever needed some clarity over your identity or working out WHO you really are and what defines you (or doesn’t), this TED talk will help put all of that into perspective. Apart from that, it is also just an incredibly inspirational talk by a truly mesmerizing speaker – Best 13 minutes you could spend! What defines YOU – Lizzie Velasquez TED Talkhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=2&v=c62Aqdlzvqk

3. Use this year to compete with yourself and STOP comparing yourself to others.  This quote really resonated with me – “Your competition isn’t other people.  Your competition is your procrastination. Your ego. The unhealthy food you’re consuming. The knowledge you neglect. The negative behaviour you’re nurturing and your lack of creativity. Compete against that.” Unknown author.  If you are someone who loses motivation quickly by comparing yourself to others, check out this blog about the damage you do to yourself  when you compare – CLICK HERE 

4. Get yourself a coach or an a**-kicker to help keep you on track – I have been blessed enough to have had a couple of coaches over the last few years and my lesson is this…. It is SO important that you find a coach that you feel “gets” you.  If you aren’t on the same wave length, it isn’t going to work. I have had good and bad coaching experiences – not because they weren’t good, but because I don’t think they were the right coach for me at that time, or they weren’t aligned with who I was and what I was about.  Don’t like the idea of a coach? Then find yourself a trusted and truthful friend who will hold you to account on your goals and commitments.

5. Work out what your non-negotiables are and STICK to them! Is family the most important thing in your life? Then why are you not creating boundaries to make sure you are home in time to spend quality time with them each night? Health your number one priority? Then create space for exercise and stick to it. Are you focussing more on mindfulness and meditation? The how is scrolling your phone first thing in the morning helping you with that?  Not sure HOW to set boundaries that you’ll stick to? Watch this space for more info to come!

6. Make your goals visible! You all know I am not a fan of New Year’s resolutions (if you didn’t know that and want to know why, click here!) – I far prefer taking more time, digging much deeper and working out what you actually want in life overall.  However, once you have a plan on what your life goals look like, and you have decided on what your non-negotiables are – MAKE THEM VISIBLE! Whether this is through a vision board that you continue to update (it should be a live piece of work, not something static that never gets refreshed), or you program your phone to remind you of your goals each day, whatever works for you – just make it visible and something you continue to be reminded of.

7. If you are feeling in a bit of a funk, maybe it is time to get yourself out of your comfort zone, consciously! Try some new hobbies, go to places you haven’t been, eat food you’ve never tried, speak to people you don’t know – I dare you! Watch this ted Talk for some extra motivation – “Try something new for the next 30 days – Matt Cutts (4mins”) https://www.ted.com/talks/matt_cutts_try_something_new_for_30_days

8. Don’t procrastinate – EAT THAT FROG! Ever heard of the phrase “Eat that frog”? It basically means to eat the ugliest, worst looking frog in your day first – or, complete the worst, most challenging task that you have to do, straight away. It will help create a sense of achievement early on in your day and then help you avoid procrastination for the remainder of it. Check out Brian Tracey’s book “Eat that Frog” if you haven’t read it before.

9. This one is an interesting one because just the title alone feels insincere. However, “How to Win Friends and Influence People” is one of the best books you can read if one of your focusses this year is on building your relationships and truly understanding people, then this is the book for you! If you want to dip your toes in first, check out this article  –  https://www.hubspot.com/sales/how-to-win-friends-and-influence-people-summary

If there is something in you that just wants a little more. If there is something in you that knows there must be more to what you are experiencing now, but you don’t know what it is. If you aren’t sad, but you definitely aren’t happy – talk to me.  I can help you. I can help you wake up in the morning excited to take on the day. I can help you build the confidence you need to ask for what you want. I can help you gain clarity on what your career path could, should and can be.

But….the first step starts with you to decide that you are done being in your own way and ready to help yourself.

Much Love,

Claire Seeber

Keen advocate for helping you get the f*ck out of your own way! 
youcan@eatingyourcaketoo.com
www.eatingyourcaketoo.com.au
www.claireseeber.com.au

Author

Claire Seeber is a self-proclaimed travel addict, mini-sausage dog mumma, avid blogger, a lover of a good glass of pinot noir and believes a solid belly laugh should be part of your every day.

She is also a professional coach, speaker and People and Culture consultant. Claire started her business in 2017 whilst working full time as General Manager of HR for a large retail business. What she loves the most about the work she does is being able to work with passionate, motivated and courageous people who genuinely want to reach their full potential and are ready to put the hard yards in to get there.

You might also like:

How to manage Interview Guilt?

Welcome to our ‘Real Women’ Interview Series with Charlene Perera!

10 things I learnt this year that helped me get the f*ck out of my own way……

Can you believe another year has nearly come to an end!! Was 2018 what you hoped it would be? Did you put yourself out there as much you said you would in January? What did you achieve this year personally and professionally? Have you stepped forward and out of your comfort zone, or have you played it safe and are just getting through each day (if you are doing this, we need to talk!!)?

Below are the 10 major things that I have learnt this year and wanted to share with you – they’ve formed the basis of a lot of my blogs this year based on conversations I have had with people, challenges I have personally faced, and most definitely lessons that I have learnt along the way. If any of these points really resonate with you, then I suggest you click the “READ THIS” links next to them that will take you to my wider thoughts on the topic.

As the year comes to a close, do yourself the favour of taking some time out to reflect on your year – what worked, what didn’t and above all else, what did you learn? If you aren’t happy, remember, you have a choice.

Also, hopefully you are having a bit of a break over the festive season, so what a great opportunity to refresh yourself on some of the “Best of” 2018 Eating your Cake too blog posts!

MY LESSONS FROM 2018…..

  1. If you don’t ask, you don’t get…. If you miss out on an opportunity that you didn’t put yourself out there for in the first place, that is your fault. No one else’s. You have two options now. Throw your toys out of the cot and sulk or get back up and learn a lesson – ask for what you want.  You have to take responsibility for your own life – deferring it to others gives you a scapegoat and a reason to blame when it doesn’t work out –READ THIS, ALSO READ THIS , AND FINALLY, READ THIS
  1. You need to be relentless in the pursuit of your own goals – It takes courage to put yourself out there and be brave about what you want. It also takes work. A lot of work. Putting your goals on a piece of paper or on a pretty vision board isn’t enough. You have to consciously work at them every day. And check yo’self to make sure you haven’t gotten too comfortable. Comfort and routine feels good, it feels nice – but it is often where the safe play and where the safe get stuckREAD THIS
  1. Be kind and don’t judge others – Just because others may live a life differently to you, doesn’t make it wrong. What is wrong, is judging them based on your own values set. We need to stick together, not tear each other down. Every time you judge another person for what they say, or don’t say, wear or don’t wear, look at yourself in the mirror – you are the one with the issue, not them.READ THIS
  1. But also remember, you can only help people so much –Always lend an ear when people need to talk. Be supportive, take time and help where you can, but acknowledge that some people don’t want to get out of their own way, and that is their responsibility, not yours.  READ THIS.
  1. There is plenty of awesomeness to go around – STOP COMPARING YOURSELF TO OTHERS! There is no awesomeness tap – you can be just as fabulous as the person next to you. Comparing yourself to others just makes you miserable and chews up time you could of been spending on improving yourself.  Compete with yourself every day. Beat yourself every day. But not those around you. READ THIS
  1. Relationships are the most important thing in getting what you need, both professionally and personally. If you treat people like sh*t and then want their help, do you really think they’ll be there? READ THIS
  1. You cannot be all things, to all people, all the time. You are one person and saying no when you need to is OK. Also, not everyone will like you AND that is ok too! READ THIS  AND, READ THIS
  1. Make time every day for yourself, and yourself only, even 10 minutes – there is only so long you can last doing everything for everyone else, except for you. Take the time to get to know yourself. What are your triggers, what gets you excited? What gets you up in the morning? The more you know about yourself, the better you will be as a human being. READ THIS.
  1. Don’t’ ever be too proud to ask for help – it is not asking for it when you need it that makes you a tool! READ THIS
  1. Don’t do things for people on the basis that you expect they will for you in return. Everyone is different and if you’re only doing something for someone in the hope you will receive it back, when it doesn’t happen, you’ll just be resentful for something you expected from them, that was ultimately self-serving and that they may not even be aware of. READ THIS
  1. And finally (yes, I know I said 10, but I’ve added a bonus lesson!) – YOU CAN Get the f*ck out of your own way– you were given the opportunity, or the challenge that you were for a reason – you’ve got this, you CAN do it, so make the most of it! You are on this earth once, for one blimp in the existence of the whole world. You can look at that as a sad fact, or something really powerful – something that sparks you to make a change in the 30,000 days you have here to make it.

If there is something in you that just wants a little more. If there is something in you that knows there must be more to what you are experiencing now, but you don’t know what it is. If you aren’t sad, but you definitely aren’t happy – talk to me.  I can help you. I can help you wake up in the morning excited to take on the day. I can help you build the confidence you need to ask for what you want. I can help you gain clarity on what your career path could, should and can be.

But….the first step starts with you to decide that you are done being in your own way.

Claire Seeber
Keen advocate for helping you get the f*ck out of your own way! 
youcan@eatingyourcaketoo.com
www.eatingyourcaketoo.com.au
www.claireseeber.com.au

Author

Claire Seeber is a self-proclaimed travel addict, mini-sausage dog mumma, avid blogger, a lover of a good glass of pinot noir and believes a solid belly laugh should be part of your every day.

She is also a professional coach, speaker and People and Culture consultant. Claire started her business in 2017 whilst working full time as General Manager of HR for a large retail business. What she loves the most about the work she does is being able to work with passionate, motivated and courageous people who genuinely want to reach their full potential and are ready to put the hard yards in to get there.

You might also like:

How to manage Interview Guilt?

Welcome to our ‘Real Women’ Interview Series with Charlene Perera!

Want to be considered for that next amazing opportunity? Here is why it’s always important to make your aspirations known!

I want to ask you a question.

Have you ever felt upset, disgruntled or undervalued because you weren’t considered for something? It might have been a job opportunity, a promotion, a stretch task or project, or even just to get involved in something outside of your usual fold?

Now…. I want you to think of these examples and reflect on whether you had ever made it known previously to anyone that you were interested in job opportunity “a”, or that you wanted to be considered for promotion “b”, or, that you were interested in being given the chance to take on more work in example “c”?

I often speak to people who are upset or disgruntled by the fact that they haven’t been offered, handed even, a particular opportunity. Yet, when I ask them if they have ever mentioned their interest in said opportunity, whether they had ever voiced it to their manager, a colleague, or even a friend – the answer is often a resounding NO.

Often, it is as if the expectation is on others to read the mind of this person and their unique ambitions, aspirations or areas they might want to get involved in that are outside their norm.
This is what I then often see happen.  The person who feels they were passed over or ignored for an opportunity becomes progressively more and more resentful, unhappy or disgruntled – at this point still not having said anything about their interest in one of the examples provided above, but expect still that their manager, colleagues, or friends should just know.

Am I suggesting that managers don’t own some responsibility for understanding and appreciating the unique aspirations and development goals of their people? Absolutely not. And if you’re curious about my thoughts on what makes a good leader, then you should see this list in my recent blog post about that they don’t tell you before you become a manager, but what you NEED to consider. CLICK HERE. 

But, peeps – this isn’t enough. Leaving your goals and dreams in the hands completely of others is not the answer. It gives you a scapegoat. It gives you someone to blame when those dreams don’t come true. When YOUR dreams don’t come true. And it gives you a reason to be unhappy or become resentful.

It is so important to your own success that you put yourself out there when it comes to your goals and aspirations. It is critical that you have conversations with people about where you want to go and what you want to achieve in your career. Or, if you don’t know what this is, it is just as important that you have those conversations too. Why? Because then you can be kept in mind for opportunities to try new things.

Am I saying that by making your goals and aspirations known that the next time a promotion opportunity comes around, it will be yours on a platter? No, I am not. But, I am saying that by putting yourself out there you are in great stead for that opportunity, or atleast will gain valuable feedback and development advice on what you need to do to try and attain that opportunity, which you may not have had if you had not made your goals known.

YOU are the only one in control of your life. Your career. Your path. Although your manager, your colleagues and your friends play a part in your life, they are not responsible for what you achieve.

Do you need clarity over what your goals and dreams are?  Have you considered what career path you want? Where you want to go or how to get there, either professionally or personally? Maybe you need a discovery session to start to distill some of your mental clutter. 

I am currently offering discovery packages at HALF PRICE!! That’s right, 50% OFF! Think 2019 is your year to kick some a**??? Then contact me to learn more about how a discovery session will help you. 

NOTE: I only work with people who are really ready to take control of their lives and get out of their own ways!

Much Love,

Claire Seeber

Keen advocate for helping you get the f*ck out of your own way!
youcan@eatingyourcaketoo.com
www.eatingyourcaketoo.com.au
www.claireseeber.com.au

Author

Claire Seeber is a self-proclaimed travel addict, mini-sausage dog mumma, avid blogger, a lover of a good glass of pinot noir and believes a solid belly laugh should be part of your every day.

She is also a professional coach, speaker and People and Culture consultant. Claire started her business in 2017 whilst working full time as General Manager of HR for a large retail business. What she loves the most about the work she does is being able to work with passionate, motivated and courageous people who genuinely want to reach their full potential and are ready to put the hard yards in to get there.

You might also like:

How to manage Interview Guilt?

Welcome to our ‘Real Women’ Interview Series with Charlene Perera!

What are relationship credits and why you need them for your career!?

When I was first introduced to the concept of “relationship credits” it felt wrong to me. I felt weird and it felt a little bit disingenuous to be honest. I didn’t understand how we could truly have authentic relationships that had a “credit bank” attached to them.

However, I see now that whether we like it not, all relationships have some sort of credit bank – some are just more conscious than others.

We give and we take to everyone we know. Sometimes we give more, sometimes we give less.  I have relationships with some people where I know I do 99% of the giving and very little taking. Others, I’m probably more of the taker. And then there are some that are a solid 50/50. You need them, and they need you, maybe at contrasting times, but consistently.

This blog article is going to focus more on the importance of strong and healthy relationships in the professional environment. You’ll walk away understanding why you need them and why it is important to invest conscious time in them.

 

Have you ever had someone ask you for a pretty reasonable sized favour, right out the blue and you barely even know them?  They’ve asked you to stop what you’re doing, put yourself on the back-burner and help them with something when you’ve barely had much to do with them before? This is where the value of relationship building and essentially where relationship credits come in to play. If you had a relationship with that person, maybe they’d helped you with something before, and now they are asking for your assistance in return, you don’t bat an eyelid. You get the ‘what goes around comes around’ merry-go-round.

Hold the phone for a second though.

The first scenario where you don’t know them at all, and they’ve asked you to inconvenience yourself to assist them might be a harder pill to swallow.  Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying we shouldn’t just help people in the workplace because they are asking – of course we should – that is the reason why a lot of us have jobs – to help others in the business when they need us.

But, put it this way – you have two people who both need your services or assistance at the same time. You are only one person – therefore, you can only help one at a time.  Who do you go to first? The one you have a better relationship with, dah!  The one who invested time in getting to know you, thanks you for helping them, or may have even helped you before.

Whether you like it not, this is the way humans are wired. We are a relationship focussed bunch. All the relationship credit concept does, is bring this in to the light and make sure you are more consciously investing into the relationships that you need to in order to do your job well.

How and why should you consciously invest more in your professional relationships?

 

1) Firstly, if you work with the attitude of “people don’t matter, I’m just here to do my job”, then you are already on the back-foot. Change your mindset and change it quickly. Not only do people hire people they like, but people with strong and mutually beneficial two-way relationships tend to advance in business as well.

 

2) Make relationship development a standard part of your week – Make it a point to invest time with 3 or 4 people in your business and get to know them, what they do and what they‘re all about. A simple “how are you?” as you keep walking and don’t even hear the response is not enough – ya feel me?

 

3) Keep your networks with people you used to work with too – Make sure you invest time with previous colleagues and keep those relationships fresh – they might work somewhere you want to work someday, and you don’t want the first time they hear from you in 8 years to be when you are asking them for an introduction or a referral.

 

4) Be open to what you don’t know and that it might actually be of value to you – What you can learn from others, both professionally and personally can influence your career or your life. If you are so closed off to that and don’t get to know others, you don’t know what goodies or opportunities you could be missing out on.

 

Curious to know more about the relationship credit concept, or need help with your own career roadmap? Flick me a note at youcan@eatingyourcaketoo.com and we can talk about how to set you up for success now and for your future.

 

If you need some help working out what your next career move is, I can help. I help women get out of their own ways. I help you deal with the overthinking. The Imposter Syndrome. The self-doubt. The career confusion or crossroads. All the things currently getting in your way of being a confident, kick a** woman in your workplace and in your life. 

 

Much Love,

Claire Seeber

Keen advocate for helping you get the f*ck out of your own way!
youcan@eatingyourcaketoo.com
www.eatingyourcaketoo.com.au
www.claireseeber.com.au

Author

Claire Seeber is a self-proclaimed travel addict, mini-sausage dog mumma, avid blogger, a lover of a good glass of pinot noir and believes a solid belly laugh should be part of your every day.

She is also a professional coach, speaker and People and Culture consultant. Claire started her business in 2017 whilst working full time as General Manager of HR for a large retail business. What she loves the most about the work she does is being able to work with passionate, motivated and courageous people who genuinely want to reach their full potential and are ready to put the hard yards in to get there.

You might also like:

How to manage Interview Guilt?

Welcome to our ‘Real Women’ Interview Series with Charlene Perera!

How to absolutely nail your job interview AND ensure you don’t walk out with regrets!!

WARNING: This post includes reasonable levels of sarcasm. Enjoy ?

Due to the nature of my job, I sit through my fair share of job interviews. I actually really enjoy them – meeting new people, getting to hear their unique journeys, their stories and their career aspirations. However, just through the general law of averages that means I have also sat through my fair share of doozies when it comes to interviews.

 

So…….. I’ve decided to share with you all my list of “do’s” and “don’ts” when it comes to interview preparation. Here’s how you can nail your interview and ensure you don’t walk away wanting the world to swallow you whole.

 

Here is my lovely list of “must do’s before your interview to ensure you nail it every time:

 

  1. Please, sweet baby Jesus, RESEARCH the damn Company you have applied to work with. Infact, do one better and research the Company BEFORE you apply to work with them. If I had a dollar for every person I have called, who, when I ask them what it was about “Company X” that excited them, they respond to me with “I don’t really know anything about the Company”, or worse, they list brands, products, or services to me that “Company X” doesn’t own, sell, or do – I would be a very rich person!!!

 

  1. Prepare some notes or some questions to ask in your interview based on the research that you most definitely have now done because you followed my wise suggestion in point one. Your interviewers will love that you have done your homework and that you are clearly engaged and excited by the role. I love people who come prepared with questions – I especially love when people ask me things like “how long I’ve been with the business for?”, “What I like most about it?” etc. It tells me they care about where they are working and the people they will be working with.

 

  1. BE ON TIME! Or, if your sisters, friends cat really did get hit by a bus, at least ensure you call to advise that you will be late. It is not a good look when you rock up late to an interview, and you did not advise, or call the interviewers, and then do not even apologise when you arrive. My advice is always this – give yourself as much time as possible so that you are not flustered when you arrive. Account for things like bad traffic, late buses or trams, no parking, getting lost etc. Worst case (really best case!) you are early and then you have time to sit in your car, centre yourself and ensure you rock up as the best version of yourself for your interview and not a sweaty, hot mess who has forgotten what role they are actually interviewing for.

 

  1. Whilst I am on the topic of punctuality – I also believe there is such thing as being TOO early. Hence, my point above. If you are 30 minutes early to the venue for your interview (firstly, bravo!), but go and grab a coffee nearby, or sit in your car and read for a bit, but PLEASE don’t arrive at reception 30 minutes early for your interview – it puts unnecessary pressure on the interviewers, and quite frankly, is annoying.

 

  1. Ensure you get your roles right (yes, I am serious!). I understand that when people are actively looking for that next job they may be applying for more than one role. However, please ensure that you are very clear on the role that you are interviewing for when you arrive. Also ensure you are prepared to answer the relevant questions to that role that will no doubt require you to talk about how your experience is relevant to the role you are applying for.

 

  1. Be prepared to state your remuneration expectations out loud, if you haven’t already done so in the initial phone screen. AND, if you have done so in the phone screen, make sure you write down what you said (particularly if you weren’t being totally honest) – why? Because you’ll likely get asked again in the interview and if you say two different figures because you forgot the lie you told the first time, you start to appear a bit dishonest. If you’ve never thought about your rem expectations before and how to ask for them, then this blog is a MUST READ, my friend. Click here.

 

  1. Finally, come prepared with examples to questions that you will of course get asked. Things like talking about your strengths, your development areas (this isn’t a trick question, we all have them.), how you work in a team, how you like to be managed, how you manage stress, examples of how you have pushed boundaries before, or managed projects or teams are all likely to be asked. So….. prepare for them with some examples. That way when you are asked, you don’t have to sit there staring blankly at the interviewers like you want to pass out.

 

Are these tips really just the world according to Claire? Possibly. But I confidently feel that if you can nail the above and you genuinely have the relevant experience that a role is looking for, then you should find yourself very much in with a solid chance to be the successful candidate.

 

Does the thought of going to an interview make you sweat? Need help prepping? Perhaps you know you want out of where you are currently, but you’re not sure what the next step is for you? I can help you.  Hit me up at youcan@eatingyoucaketoo.com and let’s talk about how we can get you out of your own way and on to a new and fulfilling career path.

What do I do?
If you need some help working out what your next career move is, I can help. I help women get out of their own ways. I help you deal with the overthinking. The Imposter Syndrome. The self-doubt. The career confusion or crossroads. All the things currently getting in your way of being a confident, kick a** woman in your workplace and in your life.  www.claireseeber.com.au or www.eatingyourcaketoo.com.au 

 

Much Love,

Claire Seeber

Keen advocate for helping you get the f*ck out of your own way!
youcan@eatingyourcaketoo.com
www.eatingyourcaketoo.com.au
www.claireseeber.com.au

Author

Claire Seeber is a self-proclaimed travel addict, mini-sausage dog mumma, avid blogger, a lover of a good glass of pinot noir and believes a solid belly laugh should be part of your every day.

She is also a professional coach, speaker and People and Culture consultant. Claire started her business in 2017 whilst working full time as General Manager of HR for a large retail business. What she loves the most about the work she does is being able to work with passionate, motivated and courageous people who genuinely want to reach their full potential and are ready to put the hard yards in to get there.

You might also like:

How to manage Interview Guilt?

Welcome to our ‘Real Women’ Interview Series with Charlene Perera!

Are you stuck in a rut? How to know and how to fix it if you are!

When was the last time you really put yourself out there? Seriously! When was the last time you could feel your adrenaline pumping because you were doing something that made you nervous or uncomfortable? It might have been presenting in front of a group of people, putting an idea on the table that you hadn’t shared before, maybe a job interview, or maybe a first date?

Your comfort zone is a behavioural space where your activities fit a chosen routine that ultimately minimises your stress and risk. It provides you with a state of mental security. The routine is then reinforced because you experience regular happiness, low anxiety and reduced stress. If we are experiencing happiness, minimal to no anxiety and little to no stress, why the f*ck would I mess with that, I hear you say?

Because…. Healthy levels of stress and anxiety is where the magic happens! Interestingly though, to ensure you experience a good amount of “stretch” you need to consciously put yourself out there – that can be where alot of us fall down from time to time and that is where we can find ourselves in a bit of a rut.

 In order to maximise our performance, some anxiety is necessary (Yes, I did just say that!) — a space where our stress levels are slightly higher than normal. This space is called “Optimal Anxiety”, and it’s just outside our comfort zone.

Check out this TED Talk by Matt Cutts and see if you’re motivated to get out of your comfort zone! It is only 3 minutes long, but gives you a truck load of reasons why hitting that point of optimal anxiety is so important to your continued growth and development. CLICK HERE

Can’t remember the last time you put yourself out there or did something that made you even just a little bit uncomfortable? Maybe you are in a bit or rut.  Ask yourself these questions and reflect on these statements:

* Do you often use words like “just getting through the day”, or do your days generally start to feel like you have achieved very little?
* If you answered the question of “How are you?” genuinely, it would be something along the lines of “Meh”?
* You sort of know something doesn’t feel quite right within, but you just aren’t sure what it is?
* You often feel like you are on autopilot?
* You almost always feel tired –when you get up in the morning you are already counting down until you can be back in bed.
* You often day dream about a different reality, but don’t have the energy to do anything about it.

In need of a little shake up to get you back on track? That’s OK, we’ve all been there! First things first, watch the TED Talk I have mentioned above. Secondly, see if you can action these steps to help you.

1) Understand your current comfort zone – what is your current routine? Are you working long hours where you are woken up by coffee and put to bed by wine? You have little energy left for exercise at the end of your day so you just flop on the couch and watch Netflix night after night after night? Once you understand what your current “rut routine” looks like you can start to work out how to break it down.

2) Set yourself some small goals to get you up and about again, and eventually increase them in stretch – if you are living the above life I’ve just mentioned, maybe a small goal for you initially is to use one night a week to get out and catch up with a friend or make a phone call to a family member. Set small goals initially, but STICK to them – this will help you build back some momentum as you’ll be enjoying the good vibes that come with doing something for yourself and something outside of your rut routine. If you just watched Matt Cutts TED talk, you can now start to think of what you want to do with your next 30 days of challenges.

3) GET UP!! Nothing will rejuvenate you quite like some fresh air and the blood pumping again around your body. Even if it is only 10 minutes a day, don’t ever let a day go by where you haven’t been outside – and NO walking from your car to the house or the office does not count!

4) Talk to someone – Sometimes just “offloading” about how you are feeling can do you the world of good, and there are many people who would be happy to lend an ear. If you are feeling a sense of overwhelm on where to start, perhaps speak to a professional, whether it be a counselor, psychologist or a coach (Hi!!) who can help you start unpacking what is going on for you and help you create some goals to move forward.

5) Review the balance wheel and make sure you have something to look forward to in ALL areas of your life – not sure what the balance wheel is or where to start ? Flick me an email and I will happily send it through to you so you can check yo-self!

Most importantly, if you realise you might be in a bit of a rut, do not feel like you are alone, or that you need to be stuck here. We all have down periods from time to time, but it is important that you take the necessary steps to get yourself back on track and enjoying a life full of healthy balance and optimal stress that comes from pushing yourself in a healthy manner.

I help women get out of their own ways. I help you deal with the overthinking. The Imposter Syndrome. The self-doubt. The overwhelm. The career confusion. All the things currently getting in your way of being a confident, kick a** woman in your workplace and in your life.  Ask me for more info on how I can help you at youcan@eatingyourcaketoo.com

 

Much Love,

Claire Seeber

Keen advocate for helping you get the f*ck out of your own way!
youcan@eatingyourcaketoo.com
www.eatingyourcaketoo.com.au
www.claireseeber.com.au

Author

Claire Seeber is a self-proclaimed travel addict, mini-sausage dog mumma, avid blogger, a lover of a good glass of pinot noir and believes a solid belly laugh should be part of your every day.

She is also a professional coach, speaker and People and Culture consultant. Claire started her business in 2017 whilst working full time as General Manager of HR for a large retail business. What she loves the most about the work she does is being able to work with passionate, motivated and courageous people who genuinely want to reach their full potential and are ready to put the hard yards in to get there.

You might also like:

How to manage Interview Guilt?

Welcome to our ‘Real Women’ Interview Series with Charlene Perera!

What they don’t tell you before you become a manager – Consider this BEFORE you decide that managing a team is what you want to do.

Often when we talk about career development, we talk about climbing the ladder, or taking that next step “upwards”, yet often we don’t know what this really means to us. We are conditioned to think that success always should mean a vertical climb, when in all truthfulness, success comes from achieving whatever the f*ck YOU want to!

I have had a number of conversations with people lately about what their career path should/could/would look like and more often than not the next step people think they need to take in order to be “successful” in their careers is to lead or manage a team.

For a lot of people this is a fantastic opportunity and something that they will absolutely thrive at, for others, it is just not something that they enjoy doing – and quite frankly, therefore, should not do it. Often people are promoted into roles by the Company they work for because they might be a great individual contributor or technical expert in their field, but, move them into a role where they are managing people and responsible for others development, and they are no longer competent, or even capable of thriving in what they once were an expert at.

Leading a team of people, be it 1 or 100, is a tough gig. It takes patience, encouragement, trust and a genuine belief that other’s success is your success. I often see and speak to people that are not ready for a leadership or management role, yet get thrust into them because they might be a fantastic individual contributor, all to then realise that they actually hate it. This often leads to demotivation, frustration because they are no longer working in a role they find fulfilling and, in some cases, leads to a once high-performer now being a low performer.

You can still be an incredibly successful person and go far in your chosen career path, without managing a team of people.

There are a couple of things that I deem critical to being a successful leader and would encourage you to truly reflect on BEFORE you find yourself managing a team, or put your hand up and say you want to.

 

ARE YOU:

1) A good listener, who enjoys taking the time and listening to people to help them problem-solve? When people want to talk to you, you’re pleased to stop and chat and you don’t see it as an annoyance. There is nothing worse than a manager who tells employees “I don’t have time for this!” when they have questions about the work. If this might be you – stop and reflect if becoming a manager is really what you want.

2) Sincerely keen to learn more about yourself and other people, and you’re willing to look in the mirror as you learn and make the necessary changes? Leadership is not easy and it’s not always fun. To be a leader, you have to be humble enough to learn from your employees. A leader who thinks they have all the answers will never gain the respect of their team mates – and without that, you really can’t go very far.

3) Excited by the idea of developing a team and helping people see their full potential? Do you get sincere satisfaction out of encouraging people to step up? Then being a manager is likely for you. Note: If you see developing others as just “fluff” that HR expect you to do, I’d probably stop right now, do not pass GO, do not collect $200 dollars.

4) Skilled with well-developed time management and organisational skills and you are able to manage your own workload very well? It is not your teams fault that you have work to do too – you’ll need to find a way to manage this and ensure you’re available for them when they need.

5) Patient and don’t get frustrated by questions that you might know the answer to – just because you know the answer, doesn’t mean everyone does.

6) Prepared for what can at times be a lonely gig – leadership can be lonely, particularly if you have gone from colleague to manager. You need to find a balance now between being the friend and the decision maker and that is by no means easy.

7) Prepared to have to make some pretty tough decisions or execute on some pretty rough decisions that you may not always agree with?

If you said yes to all of these, then well played Ma’am – you are likely someone who will thrive when managing a team.

Finally, consider this – if the main reason you want to become a manager is because it pays more than your current job pays, then perhaps this isn’t really what you want. AND guess what – that is ok! But, do yourself a favour and truthfully reflect on the above and whether the thought of all these things lights you up, or you see it as an inconvenient task that will just get in the way of you doing your job.

Stepping into a management role isn’t the only way to progress and lead a successful career. If you want other tips and tricks to ensure you enjoy professional success without becoming part of the corporate climb, check out my recent blog post about how you don’t have to go UP, to move UP. CLICK HERE   

If you need some help working out what your next career move is, I can help. I help women get out of their own ways. I help you deal with the overthinking. The Imposter Syndrome. The self-doubt. The career confusion or crossroads. All the things currently getting in your way of being a confident, kick a** woman in your workplace and in your life. 

 

Much Love,

Claire Seeber
Keen advocate for helping you get the f*ck out of your own way!
youcan@eatingyourcaketoo.com
www.eatingyourcaketoo.com.au
www.claireseeber.com.au

 

POSTED IN CAREER COACHING

Author

Claire Seeber is a self-proclaimed travel addict, mini-sausage dog mumma, avid blogger, a lover of a good glass of pinot noir and believes a solid belly laugh should be part of your every day.

She is also a professional coach, speaker and People and Culture consultant. Claire started her business in 2017 whilst working full time as General Manager of HR for a large retail business. What she loves the most about the work she does is being able to work with passionate, motivated and courageous people who genuinely want to reach their full potential and are ready to put the hard yards in to get there.

You might also like:

How to manage Interview Guilt?

Welcome to our ‘Real Women’ Interview Series with Charlene Perera!

What is your personal brand? AND, how can you use it to drive your success.

Who sits in that chair above? Have you ever tried to describe them? Have you ever stopped and considered what your personal brand is? What the message that you send out to world looks like? Whether you like it or not – we all have a personal brand.  What vibe do you give off when you walk into room? The way you speak, the stories you tell, the way you communicate, the way you dress, this is all a part of your unique personal brand. Are you currently using it to your advantage? When we think of products, we think of brands and the way they are marketed to us – some appeal to you, others do not. The same will be true for your personal brand.

The question is this – how do you make sure that the people you want to appeal to, whether it is colleagues, clients, your manager, new job prospects, or the industry you work within, are interested and trusting in your personal brand?

Some of you may have read my last blog about self-development and knowing who you are, warts and all! (Check it out here if you missed it).  Having a strong self-awareness will be a big help when it comes to having an understanding of your own personal brand and its message. Sure, when you walk into an interview, it is unlikely that the interviewers will be able to tell your motivator at its core, or what your drivers in life are, but what they will be able to tell is your demeanour, your personality, your confidence and the manner in which you speak.

They will also likely already have a picture of you in their minds from the research they may have done online, through your resume, or through references from people who may have worked with you before.  If you don’t know what this all looks, feels like, then how do you know if it is helping you or hindering you?

Personal Branding is the key to giving yourself an advantage both in your current job and when you search for a new one. Your personal brand is something that follows you around – you can’t shake it. It’s something that exists even if you don’t bother to nurture it. From job to job, the way you present yourself professionally matters, and it is instrumental in establishing yourself as a valuable leader and contributor in whatever your field of expertise might be.

Ever googled yourself to see what comes up? Now might be the time, my friend. Ever tested your Facebook privacy settings to see what strangers can find of you? Now might be the time.  As vain as it might sound, before people get to meet you and get to know you and the deeper message of your personal brand, they will go on what they can find, which in this day and age is all in the public domain – don’t you ultimately want control, as much as possible, on what that message is?

Because of social media and our boundaryless levels of visibility, personal branding is one of today’s leading career strategy topics and a critical tool for flourishing in today’s work environment. It helps you attract business opportunities through playing to your strengths and communicating expertise to your chosen target audience through your online, verbal and networking channels.

Not sure of your personal brand? Here are a couple of tips to help you start controlling the message, instead of it controlling you:

Know who you are – if you don’t have an awareness of who you are and what you stand for then you’ll have no idea what message you are giving off, or if that is the message you want to be giving off – check out my recent blog around self-awareness here which will help you.

Complete a social media audit -do a scan of what is currently in the public domain regarding you and decide if you are happy with it. You want consistency in your message, so consider this when doing your homework. A professional picture of you on your Linkedin site, coupled with an open Facebook profile with pictures of you skulling wine from a box might not send a consistent message. I’m not saying don’t skull the wine, I’m just saying maybe lock down your facebook! ?

Raise your profile – share your thoughts and educated opinions to help get your profile out there. Become a thought leader in your field, whether this be internally within your current role and workplace, or externally out in the market. Get to know people and allow them to get to know you and your thoughts, opinions and knowledge on the areas you’re skilled in.

Work out what your Unique Selling Proposition (USP) is: Companies spend insane amounts of money understanding their customers and how to pitch themselves in the market to create a USP. You’re also unique and you too have unique value that is important to articulate clearly to successfully position yourself in the market – remember your “market” might be internal in your workplace or external within the industry, or both!

Need help cultivating your personal brand? Or, not sure where to start? I can help you work out your USP and help you dig deep into who you are what you’re all about! Once you know this you’ll experience a heightened sense of confidence and self-esteem. If you feel like this could be lacking – contact me and let’s have an initial chat about your goals.

 

I help women get out of their own ways. I help you deal with the overthinking. The Imposter Syndrome. The self-doubt. The career confusion or crossroads. All the things currently getting in your way of being a confident, kick a** woman in your workplace and in your life. 

 

Much Love,

Claire Seeber

Keen advocate for helping you get the f*ck out of your own way!
youcan@eatingyourcaketoo.com
www.eatingyourcaketoo.com.au
www.claireseeber.com.au

Author

Claire Seeber is a self-proclaimed travel addict, mini-sausage dog mumma, avid blogger, a lover of a good glass of pinot noir and believes a solid belly laugh should be part of your every day.

She is also a professional coach, speaker and People and Culture consultant. Claire started her business in 2017 whilst working full time as General Manager of HR for a large retail business. What she loves the most about the work she does is being able to work with passionate, motivated and courageous people who genuinely want to reach their full potential and are ready to put the hard yards in to get there.

You might also like:

How to manage Interview Guilt?

Welcome to our ‘Real Women’ Interview Series with Charlene Perera!

Self-Improvement isn’t a load of Sh*t! What could you be missing out on by ignoring it?

Self work is the hardest work, without doubt. Being bold enough to look deep into yourself and ask the question, “Who am I?” warts and all, is one of the toughest questions we can ask. Why? Because it means we have to deal with some of the things we’d rather not know about ourselves. It means we have to accept that there are traits about us that limit us from being our best self. That there are traits that derail us from living our full potential. The best thing about digging deep though is that you get to learn new things about yourself – that gives you more power than anything else you could ever ask for.

Once you know what your unique core motivators are and you can truthfully identify with them (not what you wish they were!), you are able to understand more about your behaviours, your triggers and what happens when this core motivator feels stressed or triggered (Often, this is the behaviour that we usually regret doing, but in the moment couldn’t help ourselves). Imagine the power you would have if you were able to manage those triggers for good instead of bad?  Leverage them to work FOR you, instead of AGAINST you.

It always interesting to me how many people still view the whole “self-help” or “personal growth” field as “Woooo woooo”, or a waste of money. An industry predicated on drawing people away from who they really are. I heard someone the other day openly diss another person for embarking on a self-discovery journey. FYI – Generally, the weakness you note in someone else, is the weakness in you.


My question to you is this.
By not taking time to understand more about what drives you, motivates you, or triggers you, aren’t you actually the one living a sheltered, numb’ish experience of life? Aren’t you ultimately the coward who doesn’t want to know more about themselves so that they learn how to leverage their best skills, work on how to close some of their gaps and in the process become a more compassionate and understanding human towards the differences in other people?

Aren’t you the individual who will ultimately live a disempowered, ignorant life that won’t get you close to your full potential – by the way, this won’t be anyone else’s fault but yours. Annnnnnnd breathe out.  If I have just offended you – it means I’ve hit a nerve in you. You are at a crossroads now in terms of choosing ignorance or empowerment.

I had the fortune of attending a training course a few weeks back. It was most significant investment I’ve made in my own learning and growth with the exception of a university degree, so I was praying it would be worth it. It was. What I walked away with in terms of understanding myself and the psychodynamics associated with WHY we behave the way we behave sometimes, has just unlocked a new layer in me that I didn’t have before.

I learnt some things I didn’t like along the way. Now that I know these things though, I can work on them. The good comes with the bad. The light always comes with a shadow.  I already knew that at my core I was motivated by living life to its fullest in terms of experiencing everything. I thought that was the best core motivator EVER! However, there is always a shadow  – I am often never in the now. I am often so future focussed and looking at what is next, that I can often come off as scattered and not really “available”. I can glaze over when something isn’t as interesting to me as what I deem the “future” to be.  I avoid negativity because it could mean pain and I’d rather focus on the future than deal with pain.

This is something I had as a blind spot and the impact it can have on my relationships and my team. I am being open about it here and choosing to be brave, to be vulnerable, and to accept that this is true in the hope that it might light something up in you to want to explore the same. Now I can focus on growing this muscle instead of just ignoring it like I have for the last 31 years.

When people don’t know themselves truly, they don’t know their full potential.  And when you don’t know your full potential you limit yourself in terms of what you think you are capable of. People lose confidence and self-esteem when they don’t know who they are. When a lack of self-esteem or confidence is evident, people convince themselves that they do not deserve good things in life and they thus decrease their own expectations for things such as promotions at work, fulfillment at work or in life etc.

 

Want to know what level of self-awareness you have? Ask yourself these questions, truthfully.

1) Who are you? – Note: This is not what you do, what you like or don’t like, it isn’t a character you play in your life (e.g mother, sister, wife, girlfriend, manager, etc), it is who are YOU?
2) What words describe you?
3) What words don’t describe you?
4) What do you know about yourself that works for you?
5) What do you know about yourself that doesn’t work for you?

If you struggled to answer these, don’t worry. You are not alone. However, it may mean that your levels of self-awareness aren’t high, which means you could be missing out on things just by not tapping into your full potential. I’d love to hear from you and how you answered these questions! I can also help you put the meat on the bones here or dig a little deeper if you are ready to.

Ever done a discovery session? I am currently offering these utilising the Enneagram transformational tool. Want to know more about yourself? There is no time like the present. Discovery sessions are a great, cost effective intro exercise that helps you start the development journey. The sessions are a two hour time commitment, but what you walk away with could change the path of your life!

 

Much Love,

Claire Seeber

Keen advocate for helping you get the f*ck out of your own way!
youcan@eatingyourcaketoo.com
www.eatingyourcaketoo.com.au
www.claireseeber.com.au

Author

Claire Seeber is a self-proclaimed travel addict, mini-sausage dog mumma, avid blogger, a lover of a good glass of pinot noir and believes a solid belly laugh should be part of your every day.

She is also a professional coach, speaker and People and Culture consultant. Claire started her business in 2017 whilst working full time as General Manager of HR for a large retail business. What she loves the most about the work she does is being able to work with passionate, motivated and courageous people who genuinely want to reach their full potential and are ready to put the hard yards in to get there.

You might also like:

How to manage Interview Guilt?

Welcome to our ‘Real Women’ Interview Series with Charlene Perera!

You made it to a Leadership role – but, now you’re flippin’ out. Here’s how to stay confident when you feel out of your depth!