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Life Tips, Purpose

How to set boundaries that you actually stick to!

Part of the process of successful of goal setting is ultimately creating a plan for your success. It is all good and well to have the vision and goals, but without the plan in place to make them happen they are really just wish lists on a page or in your head. Also, your goals and vision should ultimately be underpinned by your values – these are what you consider to be the most important things in your life.

Therefore, as an example, if you are saying the most important things in your life are your family, friends and health, then your vision for what your life looks like should also be aligned to these, as should the plan you then put in place to achieve them.  Often though, this is where we fall down. We create these amazing vision boards, goals list etc, but we don’t commit to the changes we need to make in order to then achieve them. 

“Show me your schedule and I will show you your values” is a phrase I have used before and I will use again.

What YOU allow to take up YOUR time the most is what you are saying that you really, truly value the most. Actions speak louder than words.

If you take the time to review your current schedule, where do you think the most time is spent?  And, when I say time, I don’t just mean physical time – time also includes the hours you may spend thinking about something, the nights you lose sleep overthinking things – this is all time.

A few years ago, I decided to do this exercise for myself. Something had to change in my life and an assessment of where I currently was seemed like a logical place to start.  I printed off my schedule and bucketed it up into the key themes – I had to be very honest with myself too. I learned that about 60% of my time, or, on average, 100 hours of the 168 hours I had in any given week, were being spent on work – and as I said above that included actual work, thinking about work, and then overthinking about work! Next, it was about 25 -30% rest/sleep and maybe 10% time for relationships and play.  Zero time allotted to exercise, or development and growth.

I did this to myself though.  I allowed this to happen by not having clear boundaries to prioritise the things most important to me (and massively by allowing myself to overthink – if you think that might be you, check this blog post out on Overthinking!). CLICK HERE

I dare you to do this little exercise over the next few weeks as part of kicking off your new year in the right way. Keep a log each day of where your hours go. Split them into the following buckets that make up your balance wheel

  • Work and Career
  • Rest and Sleep
  • Relationships (Family and friends)  
  • Exercise and Nutrition
  • Development and Growth (e.g reading, learning, meditation, intellectual stimulation etc)
  • Play

Keep a balance journal and see where you land at the end of 30 days. Assess where you find your time gets spent. This will tell you your values as they currently stand.  Once you have had a chance to reflect on your journal, ask yourself this.  Is it where you want it to be? Are there areas of opportunity? Are you ‘walking your own talk’ in terms of your values and boundaries?

This exercise is also not to say that there won’t be times where your work load might be heavy and you might be “tilting” towards work more than you usually would. That is ok – it is when this lifestyle or schedule becomes the norm for us and we become completely out of sync with our own priorities that we need to step back, breathe and make some changes.

If you need help setting boundaries and sticking to them. I can help you. If you aren’t sure of your place, your purpose or even your own goals. I can help you.

But….the first step starts with you to decide that you are done being in your own way and ready to help yourself.

If there is something in you that just wants a little more. If there is something in you that knows there must be more to what you are experiencing now, but you don’t know what it is. If you aren’t sad, but you definitely aren’t happy – talk to me.  I can help you wake up in the morning excited to take on the day. I can help you build the confidence you need to ask for what you want. I can help you gain clarity on what your career path could, should and can be. Email me at youcan@eatingyourcaketoo.com for a confidential and free 20-minute chat.

Much Love,

Keen advocate for helping you get the f*ck out of your own way! 
youcan@eatingyourcaketoo.com
www.eatingyourcaketoo.com.au
www.claireseeber.com.au

POSTED IN LIFE TIPSPURPOSE

Author

Claire Seeber is a self-proclaimed travel addict, mini-sausage dog mumma, avid blogger, a lover of a good glass of pinot noir and believes a solid belly laugh should be part of your every day.

She is also a professional coach, speaker and People and Culture consultant. Claire started her business in 2017 whilst working full time as General Manager of HR for a large retail business. What she loves the most about the work she does is being able to work with passionate, motivated and courageous people who genuinely want to reach their full potential and are ready to put the hard yards in to get there.

You might also like:

The scary wake-up call I had that made me realise I was practising self-care all wrong!!!!

How to rise above when people want to drag you down…

Need some inspiration for the New Year? Help yourself with these motivational gems!

Are you feeling a bit of the post-holiday blues at the moment? Wishing you were still by your pool with a nice cold cocktail, but instead you are back at your desk dealing with the seemingly endless emails that enter your inbox daily? I have no doubt you are not alone here my friend! So, if you are lacking motivation at the moment, or just feeling like you need a little pep talk to get you back on track for the new year, below are some of my favourite tips, tricks and resources that I use to do just that.

Each year I like look to back at some of the books, videos, podcasts, quotes and learnings that I indulged in and which ones really resonated with me the most or pushed me to take action. I am sharing these with you in the hope that you might find they do the same too. FYI – Nothing listed below is a paid endorsement – these are all just videos, books, articles, quotes, etc I have found helpful and wanted to share the love.

1.I finished this book in a couple of hours because I couldn’t put it down! Get yourself a copy of “Purpose”, by Lisa Messenger immediately.  Have you ever considered why you get up and go to work every day? (Besides your bills, of course!). Have you ever stopped to consider why you open your eyes in the morning and instead of sitting on the couch for the next 8 hours you decide to get up and go to your job – THAT particular job? How do you feel at the end of those 8 hours?  Are you exhausted and counting down the minutes until it is over, or do you feel fulfilled, happy, challenged?  This book will help you really think about these things and help you on your path to finding your unique purpose.

2. This TED talk is EVERYTHING!!!! If you have ever needed some clarity over your identity or working out WHO you really are and what defines you (or doesn’t), this TED talk will help put all of that into perspective. Apart from that, it is also just an incredibly inspirational talk by a truly mesmerizing speaker – Best 13 minutes you could spend! What defines YOU – Lizzie Velasquez TED Talkhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=2&v=c62Aqdlzvqk

3. Use this year to compete with yourself and STOP comparing yourself to others.  This quote really resonated with me – “Your competition isn’t other people.  Your competition is your procrastination. Your ego. The unhealthy food you’re consuming. The knowledge you neglect. The negative behaviour you’re nurturing and your lack of creativity. Compete against that.” Unknown author.  If you are someone who loses motivation quickly by comparing yourself to others, check out this blog about the damage you do to yourself  when you compare – CLICK HERE 

4. Get yourself a coach or an a**-kicker to help keep you on track – I have been blessed enough to have had a couple of coaches over the last few years and my lesson is this…. It is SO important that you find a coach that you feel “gets” you.  If you aren’t on the same wave length, it isn’t going to work. I have had good and bad coaching experiences – not because they weren’t good, but because I don’t think they were the right coach for me at that time, or they weren’t aligned with who I was and what I was about.  Don’t like the idea of a coach? Then find yourself a trusted and truthful friend who will hold you to account on your goals and commitments.

5. Work out what your non-negotiables are and STICK to them! Is family the most important thing in your life? Then why are you not creating boundaries to make sure you are home in time to spend quality time with them each night? Health your number one priority? Then create space for exercise and stick to it. Are you focussing more on mindfulness and meditation? The how is scrolling your phone first thing in the morning helping you with that?  Not sure HOW to set boundaries that you’ll stick to? Watch this space for more info to come!

6. Make your goals visible! You all know I am not a fan of New Year’s resolutions (if you didn’t know that and want to know why, click here!) – I far prefer taking more time, digging much deeper and working out what you actually want in life overall.  However, once you have a plan on what your life goals look like, and you have decided on what your non-negotiables are – MAKE THEM VISIBLE! Whether this is through a vision board that you continue to update (it should be a live piece of work, not something static that never gets refreshed), or you program your phone to remind you of your goals each day, whatever works for you – just make it visible and something you continue to be reminded of.

7. If you are feeling in a bit of a funk, maybe it is time to get yourself out of your comfort zone, consciously! Try some new hobbies, go to places you haven’t been, eat food you’ve never tried, speak to people you don’t know – I dare you! Watch this ted Talk for some extra motivation – “Try something new for the next 30 days – Matt Cutts (4mins”) https://www.ted.com/talks/matt_cutts_try_something_new_for_30_days

8. Don’t procrastinate – EAT THAT FROG! Ever heard of the phrase “Eat that frog”? It basically means to eat the ugliest, worst looking frog in your day first – or, complete the worst, most challenging task that you have to do, straight away. It will help create a sense of achievement early on in your day and then help you avoid procrastination for the remainder of it. Check out Brian Tracey’s book “Eat that Frog” if you haven’t read it before.

9. This one is an interesting one because just the title alone feels insincere. However, “How to Win Friends and Influence People” is one of the best books you can read if one of your focusses this year is on building your relationships and truly understanding people, then this is the book for you! If you want to dip your toes in first, check out this article  –  https://www.hubspot.com/sales/how-to-win-friends-and-influence-people-summary

If there is something in you that just wants a little more. If there is something in you that knows there must be more to what you are experiencing now, but you don’t know what it is. If you aren’t sad, but you definitely aren’t happy – talk to me.  I can help you. I can help you wake up in the morning excited to take on the day. I can help you build the confidence you need to ask for what you want. I can help you gain clarity on what your career path could, should and can be.

But….the first step starts with you to decide that you are done being in your own way and ready to help yourself.

Much Love,

Keen advocate for helping you get the f*ck out of your own way! 
youcan@eatingyourcaketoo.com
www.eatingyourcaketoo.com.au
www.claireseeber.com.au

Author

Claire Seeber is a self-proclaimed travel addict, mini-sausage dog mumma, avid blogger, a lover of a good glass of pinot noir and believes a solid belly laugh should be part of your every day.

She is also a professional coach, speaker and People and Culture consultant. Claire started her business in 2017 whilst working full time as General Manager of HR for a large retail business. What she loves the most about the work she does is being able to work with passionate, motivated and courageous people who genuinely want to reach their full potential and are ready to put the hard yards in to get there.

You might also like:

The scary wake-up call I had that made me realise I was practising self-care all wrong!!!!

How to rise above when people want to drag you down…

10 things I learnt this year that helped me get the f*ck out of my own way……

New year, new you, right?? Noooooooppppppeee. You are still you every year, as you should be. So instead of using every new year as an opportunity to start again, change ourselves, or block out the past, why don’t we consider something different? Need more reasons to cut the crap on New Year’s resolutions? Check out my last blog post – it gives you atleast 4! CLICK HERE

Each day is a blessing, not just each new year. Instead of wiping the slate clean each year, we should be taking the lessons from each year and each day into the next. Use each year to continue to build on yourself and grow, not “start again” or be a “new you”. If you do that every year, you’ll be a new person every 12 months. You won’t give yourself the chance to be authentic, or to be truly vulnerable as to what your areas of opportunity for growth are because you are too busy wiping the slate clean to start again.

Here are 10 pieces of inspo that I have found hugely valuable in helping me keep momentum year on year on my goals and my vision for my own life. These little pieces of inspo will help you get the fu*k out of your own way! (P.s Nothing listed below is a paid endorsement – these are all just videos, books, articles etc I have found helpful, and hopefully you will too).

1) The book entitled “The Life Plan” by Shannah Kennedy – this book has largely contributed to my own ‘lightbulb’ moments a few years ago where I realised how important it was to have a life plan if you really wanted to maximise what you got out of your 30,000 days on earth.

2) This epic TED Talk by Brene Brown all about The Power of Vulnerability – https://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability . This TED Talk is a great reminder about why it is ok to be authentic and vulnerable. You don’t have to have all the answers, you just keep building towards them.

3) This article by The Collective to remind you about why trying to achieve work/life balance is a myth and quite frankly just EXHAUSTING – Here is “What are happy women doing differently? The Power of Tilting” – https://collectivehub.com/2017/02/what-are-happy-women-doing-differently/

4) Get yourself a coach or an a**-kicker to help keep you on track – I have been blessed enough to have had a couple of coaches over the last few years and my lesson is this…. It is SO important that you find a coach that you feel “gets” you. If you aren’t on the same wave length, it isn’t going to work. I have had good and bad coaching experiences – not because they weren’t good, but because I don’t think they were the right coach for me at that time, or they weren’t aligned with who I was and what I was about.  Don’t like the idea of a coach? Then find yourself a trusted and truthful friend who will hold you to account on your goals and commitments.

5) Work out what your non-negotiables are and STICK to them! Is family the most important thing in your life? Then why are you not creating boundaries to make sure you are home in time to spend quality time with them each night? Health your number one priority? Then create space for exercise and stick to it.

6) Make your goals visible! Once you have a plan on what your life goals look like, and you have decided on what your non-negotiables are – MAKE THEM VISIBLE! Whether this is through a vision board that you continue to update (it should be a live piece of work, not something static that never gets refreshed), or you program your phone to remind you of your goals each day, whatever works for you – just make it visible and something you continue to be reminded of.

7) Start NOW and just keep going! Sometimes we build our goals up in our heads to be so big that we then don’t know where to start – so then we don’t start! The way to keep momentum and to keep inspired is to just keep going. Keep taking small steps to your goals and celebrate the wins along the way – that way you’ll maintain momentum and you will be able to keep your eye on the prize.

8) Don’t procrastinate – EAT THAT FROG! Ever heard of the phrase “Eat that frog”? It basically means to eat the ugliest, worst looking frog in your day first – or, complete the worst, ugliest task that you have to do, straight away. It will help create a sense of achievement early on in your day and then help you avoid procrastination for the remainder of it. Check out Brian Tracey’s book “Eat that Frog” if you haven’t read it before.

 
9) Get yourself some role models that align with your values – Who are the people you look up to? Aspire to? Get yourself some clear role models and in times when you are feeling unmotivated or uninspired think about what these people would do. Would they sit on the couch feeling sorry for themselves? Unlikely. They would be up and about tackling the issue head on. Research your role models and understand how they live their lives. Then channel your inner role model.

 
10) Finally, remember this ….“Don’t fear failure so much that you refuse to try new things. The saddest summary of a life contains three descriptions: could have, might have, and should have.” Unknown.

 
I help women get out of their own ways. I help you deal with the overthinking. The Imposter Syndrome. The self-doubt. All the things currently getting in your way of being a confident, kick a** woman. Need help? Contact me at youcan@eatingyourcaketoo.com and let’s see how I can help you.  Our first phone consultation is completely obligation free.

Much Love,

 

Keen advocate for helping you get the f*ck out of your own way!
youcan@eatingyourcaketoo.com
www.eatingyourcaketoo.com.au

Author

Claire Seeber is a self-proclaimed travel addict, mini-sausage dog mumma, avid blogger, a lover of a good glass of pinot noir and believes a solid belly laugh should be part of your every day.

She is also a professional coach, speaker and People and Culture consultant. Claire started her business in 2017 whilst working full time as General Manager of HR for a large retail business. What she loves the most about the work she does is being able to work with passionate, motivated and courageous people who genuinely want to reach their full potential and are ready to put the hard yards in to get there.

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The scary wake-up call I had that made me realise I was practising self-care all wrong!!!!

How to deal with negative people at work and in life?

Why you should call Bullsh*t on New Year’s resolutions AND what you can do instead to succeed!

Ever since I knew what a New Year’s resolution was, I have made them. Every year, after I have recovered from what is usually a champagne induced hangover, I would sit down and think about what my new year’s resolutions for that year were. What would I achieve this year? What was I SO SURE that this year I would nail, or do differently.

Year on year, it was the same things. Get skinny (haha, I LOL at this one now!), save more money, and usually something around creating more “me time”, or being a “better person”. Do you know what the common theme by the end of January was?  I hadn’t followed through on a single resolution. By February I was most definitely NOT skinny, I had probably spent more money than I usually would, and I had not carved out any time for myself, or had become a “better” person.

Why do I think I failed every year?  Because I set myself up to fail from the start! I was never invested enough in these “resolutions” for them ever to work.  I never had a plan for them. I never knew what success actually looked like. And if these resolutions were supposedly SO important to me, why did I wait to the start of a new year to decide to commit to them? Why didn’t I just start the day I decided that they were important to me? I know why. Because I didn’t really know what each one meant. I hadn’t dug deep enough to know why these things were important to me and therefore I didn’t have the true energy and dedication to push on with them.

So, this year I’m calling bullshit on new year’s resolutions and I am politely telling them to go shove it! I also think you should too and here is why.

New Year’s resolutions give you an excuse to wait. Ever been that person that has said “I’ll start eating healthy from Monday”, or “I’ll start back with my exercise regime from Monday”. This is the exact same thing, except worse because you generally prolong the change for a greater period of time with new year’s resolutions. When you decide something is important enough to create a new habit for, or to make a change, commit to it then and there – don’t wait.

New Year’s resolutions make you place unnecessary pressure on yourself to develop huge, life changing resolutions that you then beat yourself up about when you can’t commit to them. We build and build and build up to these great, big, sweeping statements about how our lives will be so different this year because of these changes, yet if we just continued with our momentum and building on our habits all year round, we would find we achieve a far stronger result without all the pressure of the “New Year, New You” cycle.

New Year’s resolutions often aren’t SMART. Recall my ridiculous resolutions above. What does “get skinny” even mean? Firstly, it’s a stupid resolution because I know I don’t really want to do that, so I have stuffed myself from the start. When we develop goals, we need to make them SMART goals. If I wanted to lose weight – how much? By when? Is that realistic? Understand the specifics of your goal so you know when you have achieved it, or you will always feel like you’ve failed because you never considered upfront what success was.

You plan to fail when you fail to plan. It’s awesome that you have now come up with your goals, you’ve made them SMART and you know what success looks like. But, that still isn’t enough. How will you achieve the goal? What shifts will you make in your life, your schedule, your values etc to achieve the goal? Let’s go back to the “get skinny” resolution that failed year on year. Why? Because I never actually put a plan in place on what I was going to do differently. I never created space in my life or my calendar to exercise. I never made the conscious effort to meal prep, or book in exercise classes, get a gym buddy, etc. I just relied on this sweeping statement to pull me through without any real sacrifice or planning going into it. If one of your goals is create more time for yourself in the morning – great! Brilliant goal! But, how will you do it? What will you change? Who will make you get up earlier? And what will you now do with that time? What does a successful morning look like to you?

Instead of creating loose, surface level, ill-conceived, New Year’s resolutions that may see you fall into the 92% of people who do not follow through on them, try something different this year.
Also, check out my previous blog post on “Are you a Bullshit artist?”   CLICK HERE to see how to stick to them!

Consider the 3 P’s.

  1. Purpose – Understand what YOU want. What is YOUR purpose?
  1. Putting your goals on paper – Not just your goals for the year, your goals in life! This should be something you really think about and take the time to invest in. From there you reflect and review it regularly.
  1. Prioritise them – We often talk about procrastination when talk about our job, or the number of tasks we need to get done during the day. Yet, for some reason when it comes to putting our personal goals on paper and what we want to achieve out of our lives, we don’t allow ourselves the option to prioritise. We have already put ourselves last. If you want to achieve your goals, not just at the start of every year, but every day of your life, then you MUST prioritise them.

Check out these steps in more detail here – http://www.eatingyourcaketoo.com.au/ignorethehaters/

I work with a number of women coaching them on how to work out what they value, what their goals are, how to set them, prioritise them and then get out of their own way!

If you are interested in having a personal trainer for your life and your personal or professional goals, then let’s chat – youcan@eatingyourcaketoo.com

 

Much Love,

 

Keen advocate for helping you get the f*ck out of your own way!
youcan@eatingyourcaketoo.com

Author

Claire Seeber is a self-proclaimed travel addict, mini-sausage dog mumma, avid blogger, a lover of a good glass of pinot noir and believes a solid belly laugh should be part of your every day.

She is also a professional coach, speaker and People and Culture consultant. Claire started her business in 2017 whilst working full time as General Manager of HR for a large retail business. What she loves the most about the work she does is being able to work with passionate, motivated and courageous people who genuinely want to reach their full potential and are ready to put the hard yards in to get there.

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How to rise above when people want to drag you down…

You don’t have to go upwards to go UP…. Here are 4 other ways you can work out what the best career path for you is!

Often when we talk about career development, we talk about climbing the ladder, or taking that next step upwards, yet often we don’t know what this really means to us. We are conditioned to think that success always should mean a vertical climb, when in all truthfulness, success comes from achieving whatever YOU want to!

The number of people that I speak to about career development or career progression who want to know how they can get to that “next level” is always eye-opening to me. Why? Not because I don’t find it inspiring, I think driven and ambitious people are amazing – yet, what I find interesting, and a common thread in these conversations is that when I ask why an individual wants to progress to the next step on the ladder, or what it is about the next step that they specifically want, many people cannot articulate it.  Often, I think it is the lure of the perceived status, or the title you receive. Perhaps it is the assumption of more money that people really want (and of course, who doesn’t want more money!?!).

These things are all great and are most definitely representations of moving your way forward professionally, however, it is important to consider that these benefits, although they might satisfy in the short term, if the position and the work that you are doing is not aligned with where you want to go longer term, then the ability to experience genuine satisfaction once you achieve this “next step” will not be long lasting. Once the hype of a new title, or a salary increase dies down, if you are not completely sure of where you want to go, then you may find yourself having these feelings of “what next?”, again.

If climbing the ladder for you makes sense and aligns with your career aspirations and you know that each step “up” gets you closer to those career dreams you continue to have, then that is flippin’ brilliant my friend – kudos to you, and keep pushing!! But, if there is any part of you that thinks you are only aiming upwards because you think you must, or that it is the only logical path that meets the definition of success, then I assure you that it is not.

Here are just a couple of ways that you can still experience amazing career growth and development, AND success without following the conventional pathway from entry level, to junior, to individual contributor, to leader, to Executive etc.

Go sideways to go upwards – increase your business awareness by increasing your scope and knowledge horizontally.  A lateral move gives you the opportunity to increase your skillset, build relationships and take the time to work out what really lights you up. If then, at the end of this you were still clear that your next move was upwards into a leadership role, or an executive position, then you would be best placed with your now well-rounded knowledge of the operations of the business.

Freelance on the side to build up a network and hone in on your skills – there are endless numbers of freelancing sites now all dedicated to helping people hone in on their expertise and provide a product or service direct from them to the end consumer. And allowing them to build their brand and name in the process. Whether it is Graphic Design you want to do, or even Jewellery making, there is a site for it from Freelancer, to Airtasker, through to Etsy.

 
Start your own side hustle –  Think you want out of the corporate climb and want to have the freedom to do your own thing? Build up a side hustle outside of your 9-5 and see what traction you get there.  At the very least, you’ll find out if this is the path for you, but imagine the fruits of your hard work if it all comes off! #nothingventurednothinggained

 Take some time off to work out what lights you up and then go for it– This is one that will be different for everyone and their own unique situation, but if you find yourself in a head space where you think you may be stuck on the hamster wheel, and you don’t know why, take some time and some space to reflect. Ask yourself these questions:

  1. What are you passionate about? What excites you?
  2. What do you value in life? (i.e. family, friends, adventure, career, wealth, freedom etc).
  3. What are your non-negotiables in life? (i.e. having a successful career, being fit, having children, driving a nice car etc).
  4. When you wake up each morning, are you pumped for your day, or do you drag yourself out of bed counting how many days until the weekend?
  5. What are your strengths? What would your friends or family say your strengths were?
  6. What career opportunities are there that align both with your values and your strengths?

For those who know they want to be in the C-Suite of titles (CEO, CFO etc) that is great, and I look forward to sharing future blog posts with you about the transition from individual contributor, to leader to executive, as well as tips and tricks on how you can get there. But, for those of us who are on this path just because you think you should be, or because that is what you’ve been led to believe is what success means – get the f*ck out of your own way!

Success is whatever YOU make it, and whatever YOUR definition of it is. And, it won’t be the same as the next persons, and that is OK.

If you need a little extra support working out what your next career move is, hit me up at youcan@eatingyourcaketoo.com and lets talk about how I can help you get some clarity.

 

Much Love,

 

Keen advocate for helping you get the f*ck out of your own way!
youcan@eatingyourcaketoo.com

POSTED IN LEARN AND GROWPURPOSE

Author

Claire Seeber is a self-proclaimed travel addict, mini-sausage dog mumma, avid blogger, a lover of a good glass of pinot noir and believes a solid belly laugh should be part of your every day.

She is also a professional coach, speaker and People and Culture consultant. Claire started her business in 2017 whilst working full time as General Manager of HR for a large retail business. What she loves the most about the work she does is being able to work with passionate, motivated and courageous people who genuinely want to reach their full potential and are ready to put the hard yards in to get there.

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How you can be assertive without being an a**hole?!!

5 reasons why it feels good when people don’t like you!

What are relationship credits and why you need them for your career!?

Have you ever had a conversation with someone about your goals or your dreams and they look at you with a face like “You must be crazzzzzzy” – you just know they are thinking “tell her she’s dreaming”, and that that long list of ambitions and goals of what you want to achieve in your life is only ever going to stay just that. A dream.

This happens to me regularly, and I know I am not the only one. Although people are often not ill-intended when they rain on your parade, it does what any solid douse of negativity or condescending tone does – it plants a seed of self-doubt in your mind.

It starts to make you question if you can have it all. Can you have your cake and eat it too?

It starts to make you question if you are wanting for too much, or expecting too much.  Most people can’t help themselves but be bound by the restrictions they place on their own lives – it is just the way most humans are innately wired, and it works for society for us to be that way. To think that we can’t have it all. To think that the job we are in we must keep just because it pays the bills even if we are unhappy. To not put ourselves out there and stretch ourselves, because trying and failing is worse than the ignorance of the unknown.

I am again calling Bulls**t on that and if you are reading this, then there is a part of you that is too!

If you follow the right strategy and you keep your eye on the prize YOU CAN have it all. You will also be less aware of the haters or the negativity they bring because of the momentum you’ll have gained in achieving YOUR goals – all of a sudden the negativity doesn’t affect you because you are going to the beat of your own drum and kicking goals all round (excuse my merging of multiple metaphors into the one sentence!).

Here are three (3) P’s that I now choose to live by…..


PURPOSE

Understand what YOU want. What is YOUR purpose? Not Joe’s down the road, or Maria in the cubicle next to you. Yours.  What is the point of the long days, the late-night emails, the 2 hours a day on public transport? What does this get you, and more importantly, do you want it? If you do, then fuck yes, my friend, you are on the right path! If not, now is the time for you to think about the following questions.

What are your short term and long term goals and what does YOUR wish list really look like? Understanding this is the hardest part – it doesn’t sound hard, but I dare you to sit down and really reflect on what you want. Really want. Ask yourself these questions.

  1. What are you passionate about? What excites you?
  2. What do you value in life? (i.e. family, friends, adventure, career, wealth, freedom etc).
  3. What are your non-negotiables in life? (i.e. having a successful career, being fit, having children, driving a nice car etc).
  4. When you wake up each morning, are you pumped for your day, or do you drag yourself out of bed counting how many days until the weekend?

 

PUT YOUR GOALS ON PAPER

This is the fun part! Now that you are clear on your purpose, what does that look like in the short term and the long term? Often people are too scared to take the time to focus on this part and put it down on paper. Why? Because once they do this, sh*t just got REAL! You’ve committed and now you must follow through on that commitment.

  1. What do you want to achieve in the short term – the next 1 -3 years? This could be a holiday, saving for a house deposit, to get married, to meet a partner, spend more time with friends, get that promotion. It should be anything that is important to YOU.
  2. What do you want to achieve in the longer term? This is 5+ years. What does a “Full Life” mean to you? It could be the freedom and flexibility in your job to have enough time to focus on a hobby. It could be making enough money to buy that dream car, dream house, dream boat. It could be saving up enough money to buy a house with a backyard for your family to enjoy. It could be packing up for 6 months and travelling the world. Anything that gets your blood pumping. Do not put boundaries on things here. Think big. Too often we go straight to the reasons why somthing won’t work before we have even considered that it could. 


PRIORITISE YOUR GOALS MORE THAN ANYTHING ELSE

We often talk about prioritisation when we talk about our job and the number of tasks we need to get done during the day. For some reason though, when it comes to our personal goals and what we want to achieve out of our lives, we don’t allow ourselves the option to prioritise. We already have put ourselves last. That shit stops now! You have just said that the goals you have listed for the short term and the long term are the things the most important to you and your ability to live a full life. Therefore, why should they not be more important than anything else???

 

If you want to achieve these goals, you need to make the time to do so, AND you need to stick to it.

For example, is your short-term goal to lose 10 kilos in the next 12 months? How the hell do you do that if you don’t make a commitment to yourself to prioritise this first? If your sitting at your desk all day, every day sipping on coffees and eating crap, I see 10 kilos hitting your ass, not falling off it.


Prioritise YOUR goals first.

I could go on about this topic all day because it really is the biggest driver to living the live you want. And once you are doing that, suddenly you don’t actually give a fuck about the haters, the negative bystanders, the cynics and sceptics –  let them watch you have your cake and eat it too!

Much love as always peeps!

If you like reading my posts and know others who might get something out of it, I would love if you shared the love. Helping me get my content out there is the greatest gift you can give me. 

 

If you have any topics you’d also like to hear more about, then I would love to connect with you. Email me at youcan@eatingyourcaketoo.com

Claire Seeber xxxx

Keen advocate for the getting the f*ck out of your own way to live the life you want!

Author

Claire Seeber is a self-proclaimed travel addict, mini-sausage dog mumma, avid blogger, a lover of a good glass of pinot noir and believes a solid belly laugh should be part of your every day.

She is also a professional coach, speaker and People and Culture consultant. Claire started her business in 2017 whilst working full time as General Manager of HR for a large retail business. What she loves the most about the work she does is being able to work with passionate, motivated and courageous people who genuinely want to reach their full potential and are ready to put the hard yards in to get there.

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Hi – I’m Claire and I am a recovering Overthinker.