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Helping yourself, Life Tips, Own your life, Personal Development

10 things I learnt this year that helped me get the f*ck out of my own way……

Can you believe another year has nearly come to an end!! Was 2018 what you hoped it would be? Did you put yourself out there as much you said you would in January? What did you achieve this year personally and professionally? Have you stepped forward and out of your comfort zone, or have you played it safe and are just getting through each day (if you are doing this, we need to talk!!)?

Below are the 10 major things that I have learnt this year and wanted to share with you – they’ve formed the basis of a lot of my blogs this year based on conversations I have had with people, challenges I have personally faced, and most definitely lessons that I have learnt along the way. If any of these points really resonate with you, then I suggest you click the “READ THIS” links next to them that will take you to my wider thoughts on the topic.

As the year comes to a close, do yourself the favour of taking some time out to reflect on your year – what worked, what didn’t and above all else, what did you learn? If you aren’t happy, remember, you have a choice.

Also, hopefully you are having a bit of a break over the festive season, so what a great opportunity to refresh yourself on some of the “Best of” 2018 Eating your Cake too blog posts!

MY LESSONS FROM 2018…..

  1. If you don’t ask, you don’t get…. If you miss out on an opportunity that you didn’t put yourself out there for in the first place, that is your fault. No one else’s. You have two options now. Throw your toys out of the cot and sulk or get back up and learn a lesson – ask for what you want.  You have to take responsibility for your own life – deferring it to others gives you a scapegoat and a reason to blame when it doesn’t work out –READ THIS, ALSO READ THIS , AND FINALLY, READ THIS
  1. You need to be relentless in the pursuit of your own goals – It takes courage to put yourself out there and be brave about what you want. It also takes work. A lot of work. Putting your goals on a piece of paper or on a pretty vision board isn’t enough. You have to consciously work at them every day. And check yo’self to make sure you haven’t gotten too comfortable. Comfort and routine feels good, it feels nice – but it is often where the safe play and where the safe get stuckREAD THIS
  1. Be kind and don’t judge others – Just because others may live a life differently to you, doesn’t make it wrong. What is wrong, is judging them based on your own values set. We need to stick together, not tear each other down. Every time you judge another person for what they say, or don’t say, wear or don’t wear, look at yourself in the mirror – you are the one with the issue, not them.READ THIS
  1. But also remember, you can only help people so much –Always lend an ear when people need to talk. Be supportive, take time and help where you can, but acknowledge that some people don’t want to get out of their own way, and that is their responsibility, not yours.  READ THIS.
  1. There is plenty of awesomeness to go around – STOP COMPARING YOURSELF TO OTHERS! There is no awesomeness tap – you can be just as fabulous as the person next to you. Comparing yourself to others just makes you miserable and chews up time you could of been spending on improving yourself.  Compete with yourself every day. Beat yourself every day. But not those around you. READ THIS
  1. Relationships are the most important thing in getting what you need, both professionally and personally. If you treat people like sh*t and then want their help, do you really think they’ll be there? READ THIS
  1. You cannot be all things, to all people, all the time. You are one person and saying no when you need to is OK. Also, not everyone will like you AND that is ok too! READ THIS  AND, READ THIS
  1. Make time every day for yourself, and yourself only, even 10 minutes – there is only so long you can last doing everything for everyone else, except for you. Take the time to get to know yourself. What are your triggers, what gets you excited? What gets you up in the morning? The more you know about yourself, the better you will be as a human being. READ THIS.
  1. Don’t’ ever be too proud to ask for help – it is not asking for it when you need it that makes you a tool! READ THIS
  1. Don’t do things for people on the basis that you expect they will for you in return. Everyone is different and if you’re only doing something for someone in the hope you will receive it back, when it doesn’t happen, you’ll just be resentful for something you expected from them, that was ultimately self-serving and that they may not even be aware of. READ THIS
  1. And finally (yes, I know I said 10, but I’ve added a bonus lesson!) – YOU CAN Get the f*ck out of your own way– you were given the opportunity, or the challenge that you were for a reason – you’ve got this, you CAN do it, so make the most of it! You are on this earth once, for one blimp in the existence of the whole world. You can look at that as a sad fact, or something really powerful – something that sparks you to make a change in the 30,000 days you have here to make it.

If there is something in you that just wants a little more. If there is something in you that knows there must be more to what you are experiencing now, but you don’t know what it is. If you aren’t sad, but you definitely aren’t happy – talk to me.  I can help you. I can help you wake up in the morning excited to take on the day. I can help you build the confidence you need to ask for what you want. I can help you gain clarity on what your career path could, should and can be.

But….the first step starts with you to decide that you are done being in your own way.

Keen advocate for helping you get the f*ck out of your own way! 
youcan@eatingyourcaketoo.com
www.eatingyourcaketoo.com.au
www.claireseeber.com.au

Author

Claire Seeber is a self-proclaimed travel addict, mini-sausage dog mumma, avid blogger, a lover of a good glass of pinot noir and believes a solid belly laugh should be part of your every day.

She is also a professional coach, speaker and People and Culture consultant. Claire started her business in 2017 whilst working full time as General Manager of HR for a large retail business. What she loves the most about the work she does is being able to work with passionate, motivated and courageous people who genuinely want to reach their full potential and are ready to put the hard yards in to get there.

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Does the thought of networking in a large room on your own make you feel a wave of fear? Do you break out in sweats at the thought of walking into a room of strangers on your own and having to find someone to talk to? Does the thought of thinking of things to say to people you don’t know give you heart palpitations? You are not alone, my friend.  You might even be someone who never has trouble talking to people you know, you may even be the life of the party with your own friends, but walking into a group of people you don’t know is a very different feeling.

Gone are the days (for most people!) when successful networking is defined as the number of business cards you can walk away from an event with. Usually this is from people whom you can’t remember, never contact again, and likely did not make a genuine mutual connection with. Successful networkers understand the value of quality connections, over quantity, AND this is great news for you if you are someone who sweats at the thought of walking a room of strangers and not knowing where to start (maybe you even automatically pull your phone out when you get uncomfortable as your security blanket – click here for my previous blog post about out habit of doing this!).

Networking provides a great opportunity to meet people and learn from them. It also provides a great opportunity to stretch yourself in terms of conversations and connections.

Here is a quick support list of things you can do to stress less at the thought of networking face to face, and start nailing these types of events instead of dreading them:

Pick one person at a time – it is far less daunting walking up to one person and introducing yourself, than it is walking up to an entire group of people who already look like they are fully engaged in a conversation. I guarantee you there will be someone else feeling like you in the room. Find them and connect. You will also find that the conversations you have with people are far more genuine and meaningful this way, and you may actually keep the contact going after.

Ask lots of questions – It is often easier to ask the other party lots of questions about themselves, than it sometimes is to talk about yourself. Build the connection by asking lots of questions of the other person first and take genuine interest in what they do. Still worried about how to kick off a conversation?

Here are some easy questions to get the conversation started:

 

“Hi. I am Jane, I don’t think we have met before. What was your name?”

“Have you been to one of these events before?”

“What are you most hoping to get out of the session?” (if you are attending a conference, speaker day etc).

“What do you do?”

“That sounds really interesting. What do you enjoy most about it?”.

 

Don’t be all business and no fun! – Just because it might be a “business” event, doesn’t mean you can’t talk about things other than strictly business. Get to know people. Ask them what they do outside of work. Do they travel. Do they like football. What are their hobbies. Once you find you have a common ground, or a mutual interest, the conversation becomes so much more natural.

Give without expecting in return – A lot of people go to networking functions thinking there is only value talking to people with whom they can see immediate benefit from talking to. Not true. Just because you might only be able to offer the other party something of value now (a connection with someone, some advice, a helpful resource etc), doesn’t mean that that person may not be able to help you at another point down the track. Be open minded with who you talk to, and don’t disengage as soon as you realise that that person may not be able to get you a sale, or a contact etc. Bad networking karma for you!

Take small steps – If you are someone who gets worried about how to work a room, then set yourself small goals and once you have achieved it, bow out gracefully. For example, give yourself a goal of talking to three people with meaningful conversations and making a connection. Once you have done that, exit the event, and pat yourself on the back. Next time you attend a function, stretch yourself to four people and build up from there. You will be a pro in no time!

Follow up on connections within 2 days – often people go to network functions, make these great connections, and then never follow through! Ensure you leave a quality conversation with an action to touch base again – that might be connecting on LinkedIn (make sure you have a killer profile if you are going to do this – learn how, here!), follow up on email, or a phone call. Make the commitment to do it, and then make sure you do!

Finally, go in with a positive attitude and a smile (yep, this sounds obvious, right?!) – both of these go a long way! You will not be the only person there who is nervous, or praying that they aren’t that person standing in the corner hoping someone will come and talk to them. If you do find you are alone for minute or two – don’t panic, and DON’T pull out your phone – relax, smile, and look for the next person to talk to.

Networking is like riding a bike, the more you do it, the more you enjoy it, the better you get at it, and the more you get out of it!

Much Love,

Claire Seeber xxx

Strong advocate for helping you get the f*ck out of your own way!

Author

Claire Seeber is a self-proclaimed travel addict, mini-sausage dog mumma, avid blogger, a lover of a good glass of pinot noir and believes a solid belly laugh should be part of your every day.

She is also a professional coach, speaker and People and Culture consultant. Claire started her business in 2017 whilst working full time as General Manager of HR for a large retail business. What she loves the most about the work she does is being able to work with passionate, motivated and courageous people who genuinely want to reach their full potential and are ready to put the hard yards in to get there.

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