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Helping yourself, Purpose

Need some inspiration for the New Year? Help yourself with these motivational gems!

Are you feeling a bit of the post-holiday blues at the moment? Wishing you were still by your pool with a nice cold cocktail, but instead you are back at your desk dealing with the seemingly endless emails that enter your inbox daily? I have no doubt you are not alone here my friend! So, if you are lacking motivation at the moment, or just feeling like you need a little pep talk to get you back on track for the new year, below are some of my favourite tips, tricks and resources that I use to do just that.

Each year I like look to back at some of the books, videos, podcasts, quotes and learnings that I indulged in and which ones really resonated with me the most or pushed me to take action. I am sharing these with you in the hope that you might find they do the same too. FYI – Nothing listed below is a paid endorsement – these are all just videos, books, articles, quotes, etc I have found helpful and wanted to share the love.

1.I finished this book in a couple of hours because I couldn’t put it down! Get yourself a copy of “Purpose”, by Lisa Messenger immediately.  Have you ever considered why you get up and go to work every day? (Besides your bills, of course!). Have you ever stopped to consider why you open your eyes in the morning and instead of sitting on the couch for the next 8 hours you decide to get up and go to your job – THAT particular job? How do you feel at the end of those 8 hours?  Are you exhausted and counting down the minutes until it is over, or do you feel fulfilled, happy, challenged?  This book will help you really think about these things and help you on your path to finding your unique purpose.

2. This TED talk is EVERYTHING!!!! If you have ever needed some clarity over your identity or working out WHO you really are and what defines you (or doesn’t), this TED talk will help put all of that into perspective. Apart from that, it is also just an incredibly inspirational talk by a truly mesmerizing speaker – Best 13 minutes you could spend! What defines YOU – Lizzie Velasquez TED Talkhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=2&v=c62Aqdlzvqk

3. Use this year to compete with yourself and STOP comparing yourself to others.  This quote really resonated with me – “Your competition isn’t other people.  Your competition is your procrastination. Your ego. The unhealthy food you’re consuming. The knowledge you neglect. The negative behaviour you’re nurturing and your lack of creativity. Compete against that.” Unknown author.  If you are someone who loses motivation quickly by comparing yourself to others, check out this blog about the damage you do to yourself  when you compare – CLICK HERE 

4. Get yourself a coach or an a**-kicker to help keep you on track – I have been blessed enough to have had a couple of coaches over the last few years and my lesson is this…. It is SO important that you find a coach that you feel “gets” you.  If you aren’t on the same wave length, it isn’t going to work. I have had good and bad coaching experiences – not because they weren’t good, but because I don’t think they were the right coach for me at that time, or they weren’t aligned with who I was and what I was about.  Don’t like the idea of a coach? Then find yourself a trusted and truthful friend who will hold you to account on your goals and commitments.

5. Work out what your non-negotiables are and STICK to them! Is family the most important thing in your life? Then why are you not creating boundaries to make sure you are home in time to spend quality time with them each night? Health your number one priority? Then create space for exercise and stick to it. Are you focussing more on mindfulness and meditation? The how is scrolling your phone first thing in the morning helping you with that?  Not sure HOW to set boundaries that you’ll stick to? Watch this space for more info to come!

6. Make your goals visible! You all know I am not a fan of New Year’s resolutions (if you didn’t know that and want to know why, click here!) – I far prefer taking more time, digging much deeper and working out what you actually want in life overall.  However, once you have a plan on what your life goals look like, and you have decided on what your non-negotiables are – MAKE THEM VISIBLE! Whether this is through a vision board that you continue to update (it should be a live piece of work, not something static that never gets refreshed), or you program your phone to remind you of your goals each day, whatever works for you – just make it visible and something you continue to be reminded of.

7. If you are feeling in a bit of a funk, maybe it is time to get yourself out of your comfort zone, consciously! Try some new hobbies, go to places you haven’t been, eat food you’ve never tried, speak to people you don’t know – I dare you! Watch this ted Talk for some extra motivation – “Try something new for the next 30 days – Matt Cutts (4mins”) https://www.ted.com/talks/matt_cutts_try_something_new_for_30_days

8. Don’t procrastinate – EAT THAT FROG! Ever heard of the phrase “Eat that frog”? It basically means to eat the ugliest, worst looking frog in your day first – or, complete the worst, most challenging task that you have to do, straight away. It will help create a sense of achievement early on in your day and then help you avoid procrastination for the remainder of it. Check out Brian Tracey’s book “Eat that Frog” if you haven’t read it before.

9. This one is an interesting one because just the title alone feels insincere. However, “How to Win Friends and Influence People” is one of the best books you can read if one of your focusses this year is on building your relationships and truly understanding people, then this is the book for you! If you want to dip your toes in first, check out this article  –  https://www.hubspot.com/sales/how-to-win-friends-and-influence-people-summary

If there is something in you that just wants a little more. If there is something in you that knows there must be more to what you are experiencing now, but you don’t know what it is. If you aren’t sad, but you definitely aren’t happy – talk to me.  I can help you. I can help you wake up in the morning excited to take on the day. I can help you build the confidence you need to ask for what you want. I can help you gain clarity on what your career path could, should and can be.

But….the first step starts with you to decide that you are done being in your own way and ready to help yourself.

Much Love,

Keen advocate for helping you get the f*ck out of your own way! 
youcan@eatingyourcaketoo.com
www.eatingyourcaketoo.com.au
www.claireseeber.com.au

Author

Claire Seeber is a self-proclaimed travel addict, mini-sausage dog mumma, avid blogger, a lover of a good glass of pinot noir and believes a solid belly laugh should be part of your every day.

She is also a professional coach, speaker and People and Culture consultant. Claire started her business in 2017 whilst working full time as General Manager of HR for a large retail business. What she loves the most about the work she does is being able to work with passionate, motivated and courageous people who genuinely want to reach their full potential and are ready to put the hard yards in to get there.

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The scary wake-up call I had that made me realise I was practising self-care all wrong!!!!

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How to set boundaries that you actually stick to!

Self work is the hardest work, without doubt. Being bold enough to look deep into yourself and ask the question, “Who am I?” warts and all, is one of the toughest questions we can ask. Why? Because it means we have to deal with some of the things we’d rather not know about ourselves. It means we have to accept that there are traits about us that limit us from being our best self. That there are traits that derail us from living our full potential. The best thing about digging deep though is that you get to learn new things about yourself – that gives you more power than anything else you could ever ask for.

Once you know what your unique core motivators are and you can truthfully identify with them (not what you wish they were!), you are able to understand more about your behaviours, your triggers and what happens when this core motivator feels stressed or triggered (Often, this is the behaviour that we usually regret doing, but in the moment couldn’t help ourselves). Imagine the power you would have if you were able to manage those triggers for good instead of bad?  Leverage them to work FOR you, instead of AGAINST you.

It always interesting to me how many people still view the whole “self-help” or “personal growth” field as “Woooo woooo”, or a waste of money. An industry predicated on drawing people away from who they really are. I heard someone the other day openly diss another person for embarking on a self-discovery journey. FYI – Generally, the weakness you note in someone else, is the weakness in you.


My question to you is this.
By not taking time to understand more about what drives you, motivates you, or triggers you, aren’t you actually the one living a sheltered, numb’ish experience of life? Aren’t you ultimately the coward who doesn’t want to know more about themselves so that they learn how to leverage their best skills, work on how to close some of their gaps and in the process become a more compassionate and understanding human towards the differences in other people?

Aren’t you the individual who will ultimately live a disempowered, ignorant life that won’t get you close to your full potential – by the way, this won’t be anyone else’s fault but yours. Annnnnnnd breathe out.  If I have just offended you – it means I’ve hit a nerve in you. You are at a crossroads now in terms of choosing ignorance or empowerment.

I had the fortune of attending a training course a few weeks back. It was most significant investment I’ve made in my own learning and growth with the exception of a university degree, so I was praying it would be worth it. It was. What I walked away with in terms of understanding myself and the psychodynamics associated with WHY we behave the way we behave sometimes, has just unlocked a new layer in me that I didn’t have before.

I learnt some things I didn’t like along the way. Now that I know these things though, I can work on them. The good comes with the bad. The light always comes with a shadow.  I already knew that at my core I was motivated by living life to its fullest in terms of experiencing everything. I thought that was the best core motivator EVER! However, there is always a shadow  – I am often never in the now. I am often so future focussed and looking at what is next, that I can often come off as scattered and not really “available”. I can glaze over when something isn’t as interesting to me as what I deem the “future” to be.  I avoid negativity because it could mean pain and I’d rather focus on the future than deal with pain.

This is something I had as a blind spot and the impact it can have on my relationships and my team. I am being open about it here and choosing to be brave, to be vulnerable, and to accept that this is true in the hope that it might light something up in you to want to explore the same. Now I can focus on growing this muscle instead of just ignoring it like I have for the last 31 years.

When people don’t know themselves truly, they don’t know their full potential.  And when you don’t know your full potential you limit yourself in terms of what you think you are capable of. People lose confidence and self-esteem when they don’t know who they are. When a lack of self-esteem or confidence is evident, people convince themselves that they do not deserve good things in life and they thus decrease their own expectations for things such as promotions at work, fulfillment at work or in life etc.

 

Want to know what level of self-awareness you have? Ask yourself these questions, truthfully.

1) Who are you? – Note: This is not what you do, what you like or don’t like, it isn’t a character you play in your life (e.g mother, sister, wife, girlfriend, manager, etc), it is who are YOU?
2) What words describe you?
3) What words don’t describe you?
4) What do you know about yourself that works for you?
5) What do you know about yourself that doesn’t work for you?

If you struggled to answer these, don’t worry. You are not alone. However, it may mean that your levels of self-awareness aren’t high, which means you could be missing out on things just by not tapping into your full potential. I’d love to hear from you and how you answered these questions! I can also help you put the meat on the bones here or dig a little deeper if you are ready to.

Ever done a discovery session? I am currently offering these utilising the Enneagram transformational tool. Want to know more about yourself? There is no time like the present. Discovery sessions are a great, cost effective intro exercise that helps you start the development journey. The sessions are a two hour time commitment, but what you walk away with could change the path of your life!

 

Much Love,

 

Keen advocate for helping you get the f*ck out of your own way!
youcan@eatingyourcaketoo.com
www.eatingyourcaketoo.com.au
www.claireseeber.com.au

Author

Claire Seeber is a self-proclaimed travel addict, mini-sausage dog mumma, avid blogger, a lover of a good glass of pinot noir and believes a solid belly laugh should be part of your every day.

She is also a professional coach, speaker and People and Culture consultant. Claire started her business in 2017 whilst working full time as General Manager of HR for a large retail business. What she loves the most about the work she does is being able to work with passionate, motivated and courageous people who genuinely want to reach their full potential and are ready to put the hard yards in to get there.

You might also like:

The scary wake-up call I had that made me realise I was practising self-care all wrong!!!!

How to rise above when people want to drag you down…

How to set boundaries that you actually stick to!

New year, new you, right?? Noooooooppppppeee. You are still you every year, as you should be. So instead of using every new year as an opportunity to start again, change ourselves, or block out the past, why don’t we consider something different? Need more reasons to cut the crap on New Year’s resolutions? Check out my last blog post – it gives you atleast 4! CLICK HERE

Each day is a blessing, not just each new year. Instead of wiping the slate clean each year, we should be taking the lessons from each year and each day into the next. Use each year to continue to build on yourself and grow, not “start again” or be a “new you”. If you do that every year, you’ll be a new person every 12 months. You won’t give yourself the chance to be authentic, or to be truly vulnerable as to what your areas of opportunity for growth are because you are too busy wiping the slate clean to start again.

Here are 10 pieces of inspo that I have found hugely valuable in helping me keep momentum year on year on my goals and my vision for my own life. These little pieces of inspo will help you get the fu*k out of your own way! (P.s Nothing listed below is a paid endorsement – these are all just videos, books, articles etc I have found helpful, and hopefully you will too).

1) The book entitled “The Life Plan” by Shannah Kennedy – this book has largely contributed to my own ‘lightbulb’ moments a few years ago where I realised how important it was to have a life plan if you really wanted to maximise what you got out of your 30,000 days on earth.

2) This epic TED Talk by Brene Brown all about The Power of Vulnerability – https://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability . This TED Talk is a great reminder about why it is ok to be authentic and vulnerable. You don’t have to have all the answers, you just keep building towards them.

3) This article by The Collective to remind you about why trying to achieve work/life balance is a myth and quite frankly just EXHAUSTING – Here is “What are happy women doing differently? The Power of Tilting” – https://collectivehub.com/2017/02/what-are-happy-women-doing-differently/

4) Get yourself a coach or an a**-kicker to help keep you on track – I have been blessed enough to have had a couple of coaches over the last few years and my lesson is this…. It is SO important that you find a coach that you feel “gets” you. If you aren’t on the same wave length, it isn’t going to work. I have had good and bad coaching experiences – not because they weren’t good, but because I don’t think they were the right coach for me at that time, or they weren’t aligned with who I was and what I was about.  Don’t like the idea of a coach? Then find yourself a trusted and truthful friend who will hold you to account on your goals and commitments.

5) Work out what your non-negotiables are and STICK to them! Is family the most important thing in your life? Then why are you not creating boundaries to make sure you are home in time to spend quality time with them each night? Health your number one priority? Then create space for exercise and stick to it.

6) Make your goals visible! Once you have a plan on what your life goals look like, and you have decided on what your non-negotiables are – MAKE THEM VISIBLE! Whether this is through a vision board that you continue to update (it should be a live piece of work, not something static that never gets refreshed), or you program your phone to remind you of your goals each day, whatever works for you – just make it visible and something you continue to be reminded of.

7) Start NOW and just keep going! Sometimes we build our goals up in our heads to be so big that we then don’t know where to start – so then we don’t start! The way to keep momentum and to keep inspired is to just keep going. Keep taking small steps to your goals and celebrate the wins along the way – that way you’ll maintain momentum and you will be able to keep your eye on the prize.

8) Don’t procrastinate – EAT THAT FROG! Ever heard of the phrase “Eat that frog”? It basically means to eat the ugliest, worst looking frog in your day first – or, complete the worst, ugliest task that you have to do, straight away. It will help create a sense of achievement early on in your day and then help you avoid procrastination for the remainder of it. Check out Brian Tracey’s book “Eat that Frog” if you haven’t read it before.

 
9) Get yourself some role models that align with your values – Who are the people you look up to? Aspire to? Get yourself some clear role models and in times when you are feeling unmotivated or uninspired think about what these people would do. Would they sit on the couch feeling sorry for themselves? Unlikely. They would be up and about tackling the issue head on. Research your role models and understand how they live their lives. Then channel your inner role model.

 
10) Finally, remember this ….“Don’t fear failure so much that you refuse to try new things. The saddest summary of a life contains three descriptions: could have, might have, and should have.” Unknown.

 
I help women get out of their own ways. I help you deal with the overthinking. The Imposter Syndrome. The self-doubt. All the things currently getting in your way of being a confident, kick a** woman. Need help? Contact me at youcan@eatingyourcaketoo.com and let’s see how I can help you.  Our first phone consultation is completely obligation free.

Much Love,

 

Keen advocate for helping you get the f*ck out of your own way!
youcan@eatingyourcaketoo.com
www.eatingyourcaketoo.com.au

Author

Claire Seeber is a self-proclaimed travel addict, mini-sausage dog mumma, avid blogger, a lover of a good glass of pinot noir and believes a solid belly laugh should be part of your every day.

She is also a professional coach, speaker and People and Culture consultant. Claire started her business in 2017 whilst working full time as General Manager of HR for a large retail business. What she loves the most about the work she does is being able to work with passionate, motivated and courageous people who genuinely want to reach their full potential and are ready to put the hard yards in to get there.

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