There will be a time for almost all of us in our lives where someone tries to drag us down, dull our shine or just generally inflict hurt. Sometimes it will be intentional and sometimes completely not. But, when that happens, what I have learnt is that we have a choice. We can let the experience dent, bruise or burst our confidence, or we can rise above, look for the lesson, remember who we really are, and move forward with grace and dignity.
This topic has really got me thinking about how to help others when they have this experience of people trying to drag them down, as unfortunately, it seems to be a relatively common theme. How can I help others? How do we make sure we rise above tough and testing situations when all we might want to do is write our real feelings across the sky for all to see?
We all know that trolls are on the rise. They have been for years and the ease and availability of social media only makes that easier and not something that is likely to go away any time soon – if ever! I feel like in the last few weeks alone I have heard numerous examples either in the media, or from people I know where they have been impacted by this.
But here is the hard truth – you have no option but to rise above. There are trolls everywhere and towards almost everyone. Whether that be people hating on the mother who left her child in the car whilst grabbing some cash from the ATM. Whether it be the dream chaser sailing their yacht around the world, learning from their mistakes as they go and sharing those with others. Perhaps it’s even the reality TV contestant who has put themselves out there, even said some things they shouldn’t, but is still actually a human f*cking being with a good and beautiful soul! These trolls have confidence because they have a keyboard, but it doesn’t mean we let them win.
People will test you always. It is what humans do. But how we choose to rise above the tough times and move forward is both a measure of who WE are as a human being and how WE can teach others to do the same.
So, here’s what I have learnt about rising above the haters that I hope comes in handy for you:
You’re angry or emotional at what’s been said or done – GREAT. Now channel it for good. Use the anger and do something with it that will actually help someone, not an emotionally charged, ill written comment on someone’s wall, twitter or Instagram.
Remember the people who know you. Actually know you and believe in you. These are 99.9% of the people – don’t let the 0.1 percent overtake the 99.9%. Focus on them, they’ve got your back.
Stay strong in what you stand for – usually the objective of haters is to tear you away from what you believe or what you stand for, or at the very least remove some level of confidence that you had in your own abilities. Don’t let that happen. Instead, use it as armour to help you rebuild stronger in your message than ever.
Consider this – although this might sting now, is it something you’ll consider in 6 months’ time? If not, don’t let it take up energy that could be focussed on doing something positive.
Keep your eyes on your own pathway and keep working towards it – There are 7.7 billion people on this planet – don’t let the couple of haters make you think everyone feels like that.
Forgive, forget and move on – life is too f*cking short to dwell on things you cannot change. I love this quote I read recently on Tiny Buddha “Forgive these people for raining on your parade and forgive yourself for forgetting your umbrella.” And, if all else fails, think of Disney – if you have nothing nice to say, don’t say it at all.
If you need some more help in dealing with negative people, don’t miss this blog post I wrote last year, it also has some handy hints you might enjoy – CLICK Here for how to deal with Negative people.
Or, if you need a reminder of why it can be good when you aren’t’ liked, check this little baby out – CLICK HERE
As always, remember, I have your back and I am grateful that you have mine.